Last Thursday

My only ex hasidic female friend announced me she will get married soon.
How surprised, cautious, happy i was!

I met her via Craiglist during summer 2012.
First, i thought she was a man and asked her many times before meeting her in Borough Park.
Very few Hasidic women are on CL.
The first meeting was nice. She was disturbed, anxious to meet someone from the community, not because she was with a woman but with a 'shiksa'.
She chose the area where to meet, she probably knew what she was doing.
Two ex Hasidic babies friends were scared for me that she was a man with bad intentions. I have to give them news just after the meeting. :-)
She told me that she didn't want to get married to a man she didn't love and shave her hair.
Her close sister just got married a few months before, and left for Upstate NY. She felt alone.
She used to hang out with H babies but i was the first outsider she met.

I felt all the drama she was living, struggling with her emotions to make her parents accept she was 'different'. No, you are not!
She prayed a lot, she told me!

She had a job in a Jewish family in the Bronx. I met them at the shul in Manhattan a few times.
They were nice with her. They helped her a lot after she ran away from her family.
She used to live with them till the woman of the family asked her for leaving asasp.
Another drama.
I met her during these hectic times and asked her to stay in my place to breath a little.
She was very strong but you can feel that her body was full of tears. One drama after another one.
She couldn't drink her morning coffee before getting back to the family for a new fight.

They found her an apartment, she found a job in a field she likes.
Another new start.
She is a strong believer, she loves Dog.
And she believes in love!

She met Jewish men but once again: dramas. She had the strength to move on them fast.

And she met love.

A man from Crown Heights, and she will live soon in my area. That's great!
She asked me questions if i have already met him: no.
I am not sure to have talked to him on CL because of the fake names.
But he is young, and i avoid to talk to too young men.

I remain cautious because she met him via a friend since a couple of months.
She lives with her best friend, a Jewish young girl. She likes her lover.
If you don't know me, i am straightforward and i prefer to prevent than to cure.
So i asked her the fatal questions: 'Why do you want to get married so fast?'.
Her reply gave me cold sweat: 'im scared that i wont ever get married, and that i wont find someone to love me. its scary without family.
im still sooo sad about losing them.'
When she left the community, her parents cut her off.
She invited her mother who tried to call her after she ran away. But her father asked her not to do it anymore because she was dead for them. And she lost contact with her close sister who moved abroad later.
Yes, that's pretty sad!
I can't convince her to wait a little. I told her to follow her intuition.

And i am happy for her, my heart will remain a little worried.
It will be my first Hasidic wedding: 'you are my French soul sister. you will be tanty Emma to my kinderlach.'
Yippee! I have found a Hasidic family at last!
I will probably cried rivers of tears…

She is not going to shave her hair, i didn't ask for the wig.
Her best friend is very sad that she will leave her but she can move in Crown Heights, working in Brooklyn, that will be easier and funnier.

So it was a perfect day as Lou Reed used to sing it. I didn't know he was Jewish, but who cares!
A video of this song with images from one of my favorite movie 'The Wings Of Desire' by Wim Wenders. Beautiful German language, beautiful shoot of Berlin, delightful music…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGiL9SOqhO8

I don't pray but i cross my fingers that it will be a long marriage of love… and Hasidic as well…