You leave your country and the first thing i avoid is to meet French people.
I am here to dive in a world of different cultures as i am used to enjoying it…
Then you meet nice and bad people…
Last March, i was on my way to close my work place and to leave.
A guy came in and he saw some Hasidic stuffs i had.
We started to talk about the complexity of my Jewishness.
He is Jewish, lives in Willy and is getting to convert to be a Satmarer.
He calls himself 'The Satmarcentric yid'.
But without all the Hasidic package: no black clothes, no peyos…
He used to organize parties between Hasidim and hipsters 12 years ago. True or not?
He was not very clear about his Satmar intentions.
He offered me to meet a woman from Satmar who could help me to understand who i am, so be it…
The day after, he sent me an email to set up a class with me to study Beyond A Reasonable Doubt by Rabbi Shmuel Walman.
I googled the book and found it was recommended for readers with a strong Torah background. With my Torah For Dummies, my background was a little poor.
I asked other Hasidic and ex Hasidic guys about the book: "It will confuse your mind more" and "bullshit".
But i felt the intention of this man was to spend time with me to chat me up. And sorry, he smells bad, and he didn't have all his teeth. :-)
He looked like more than his age, i think it was 55 or 58.
Last time i replied to his persistent emails was after i came back from my roots, end of April.
He sent me one or two emails with things he sells in a store in Coney Island…
I never replied.
Yesterday, a meshuga Jewish guy came in my work place. He said he is an actor. I was at a real show.
He doesn't believe in Dog but tried to convince me that Dog exists. He wanted me to lock the door and to talk to Dog once he left.
He think that Dog is responsible of our destiny, choices, chance…
Because i don't believe that things come randomly, does it mean i believe in Dog. According to him, yes.
He came back later to show me his Jewish gift bow that he wants to sell…
He wants to organize a party in my work place with DJ as myself.
He was on his way to leave when a Jewish couple came in.
The woman is my homonym i already talked about her on this blog. She came with his boyfriend.
She knew the meshuga guy that she hasn't seen since one year.
That was totally crazy, especially when the meshuga guy realized that the boyfriend was his teacher a long time ago.
They decided to go to the place of the crazy guy and came back later to me telling me to be cautious with him.
I asked how was his wife: depressed…
He didn't want them to leave, he was very dominant and overbearing with them. They ran away.
And today the Satmarcentric sent me an email that he just talked with the meshuga guy that he knows very well.
Such a nightmare!
The meshuga guy came back with his wife. I don't really know if she is depressed but she is quiet enough to handle a egocentric man as he is.
I was very embarrassed because he gave me so many compliments in front of his wife. That was not easy to include her in the conversation. But she knows her husband better than me and, she asked me questions too.
He talked about his friend, the pre-Satmar, and i didn't mention that i received an email. I just said that i met him once. He wants to bring him back to my work place. Help! Help!
The meshuga guy told me he got converted to Sephardic. I didn't know you could do that.
Everything is Kosher for him if there is no pig: keyboard shortcut for him not for the H babies.
Last news of Mister Cuddle: i found a Missy Cuddle who gave me her email address. Her nickname is Moonflower.
I don't have more details if he really emailed her. Because he lies, watch out!
My Hasidic girlfriend is engaged and we will have a L'chaim party this week! I am looking forward to meeting her future husband, friends…
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| Berdychiv Synagogue, ul. Machnowiecka, UKRAINE, 103 years ago (c. 1910) |
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