Two movies for Hannukah/Shabbos

I had a nearly Shabbos except the turn on /off. Sorry but i can't shower with cold water only. :-)
I didn't spend money, i stay at home, i didn't pray, i was out of space during one day of real rest…
I enjoy watching movies, series, documentaries… And because it's a long Jewish holiday, let's go for Jewish movies.

I started by one recommended by a Jewish client Trembling Before God. It's a documentary about the homosexuality and religion, how they can coexist in human brain and in the daily grind… Very touching movie.
And you can always hear the same speech by the rabbis: homosexuality is a disease… The Torah allows the homosexuality but not the homosexual act. What is your point Torah? These persons are not allowed to have a sexual life? Why? Does it mean you are a bad person? Why so many frustrations?
Life is short, let them enjoy a delightful moment in their life…
You can watch it for free here:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/76545
A recipe is given to become straight. Who wants to taste it?

After this docu-drama, i chose a French cartoon, The Cat's Rabbi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wk6IB_Kgl4E
It's based on volume one, two, and five of the series comic book by Joan Sfar.
I read the volume one and i enjoyed it. It takes place in Algiers, Algeria. The rabbi is Sephardic.
The cat wants to be Jewish and to do its bar-mitzvah. It is very smart and asks questions about Judaism, The Torah, the creation of the world.
In the movie, you just have a general overview. Read the book if you want to know more about this cat. That's funny how the rabbi finds answer to explain the creation of the world not in a scientific way.

I fired my candles on time yesterday but not the other days, i am not at home so early. But it's the intention which means a lot. Never without my menorah, and also m(o)ustache!

Theodore Bikel do you want to marry me?

A song like that when you open your eyes. And also a voice to drive me crazy during my breakfast.
Better than a latke, a song in three languages with a deep and beard-ish voice, i will be yours for ever.
But i have to google your name to know if you are still alive.
I am ready to move once again to find you and spend the rest of my life with you… :-)
Tell me everything to music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxH0xF84h_0
Only drawback in the video: George W. Bush with a menorah: no way!
Did you know that his grand-father was in business with Nazis? Never forget, ok?
So Theodore, i can't give you my number on this blog, but give me a sign from the earth or heaven. :-)

Another Hannukah treat by G. I gave him something in return for his wife.
We played again, i had a shin, and he said that was good.  It's just baffling! :-)

Turkey or Latkes?

Guess what? My choice is already made since a long time.
I don't eat meat except some poultry sometimes but the turkey is not a French favorite meal: too dry.
It sticks to your palate and you need French wine to swallow it: berk! :-)
I have been fascinated by the size of the turkey here and, also for the number of persons.
A turkey in Usa is for 4 people, in Europe for 50 people, in Africa for a village and, in Asia for a city.
How can they eat such a big dry monster?

I enjoy eating laktes, please send me some homemade. I will have a food orgasm. :-)
My address: emma r., crown heights, brooklyn, ny 11213.

Tomorrow will be a real day off for me: i am not going out. I dream of this day since a long time.
Spending time in bed, stretching my body, putting my head on my pillow thinking of nothing.
Everyone left the building and i have a second job: feeding the cats. That's fine. Cats are independent like me and they already got a life. They prefer the turkey indeed, but no way!
I will play with them with dreidels. I will let you win guys! I don't want to spend my time watching beneath the furniture to find them.
Last year i drew this turkey for a H baby friend, it's still alive. Probably, it had eggs sitting on them on a shtreimel.

The main reason i dislike Thanksgiving is the history of this celebration. How can we thank people who made a genocide killing all the Indians who were the first inhabitants? Since when we thank for a genocide? Kidding!
Do you want to thank Nazis to have killed millions of people in camps?
I talked about that with the frum man i already wrote a post about him. He teaches American history and said: 'What do you expect  from American History books written in America?".
He will give me the Howard Zinn's version of American History. He thinks i will enjoy it. That's probably sarcastic!
One of the reasons i don't watch news on Tv, everything is biased!
Since one week, we are assisting to the genocide of turkeys in silence!

G., the meshuga mentsh came by with a new gift: dreidels.
I rolled it 3 times and i had a 'ש', 'ש' and a 'נ'.
He said that i was done!

If one of you can save one turkey and send me latkes for tomorrow, we might be friends.
If not, do not disturb me! :-)
Happy Hannukah!

Jewish donation

I already talked about a Jewish client who found my place and now he came everyday to buy something or to say hello. But also to bring me Jewish stuffs.
I had a conversation with his wife because i felt embarrassed when he gave me so many compliments in front of her.
But he is a mentsh, he likes helping people.
Once i asked him to help me with Yiddish. I understood nothing and i was suspicious that his Yiddish is bad. He speaks Hebrew.
His wife confirmed me he is absolutely not fluent in Yiddish. :-)
He tries to help her with Hebrew but it's a real mess too.
He did it in an Asian way. The Asian people dislike to say they don't know, so they always give you an explanation. And they have no notion of time. I had a hard time to make The Vietnamese understand to come back tomorrow and not later.
That's very sweet to help me but if he starts to confuse me, it will be a real mess in my mind.
He is full of energy; very nervous. He is actor too, so his ego invades the space and people 'don't move', let him in his delirium tremens, everything will be fine!
Apparently he sleeps but once he opens his eyes, his energy is totally awaken.
Day by day, i have some gifts, some for ever, some for weeks. He asked his wife to give me a pack of cards explaining Jewish ceremonies and holidays…
Yesterday, he came back and he didn't say a word. He turned his back to me and when he looked at me, it was to choose one of his hands where he was hiding something.
I chose the left, it was a stone, so he opened his right hand and it was a Magen David. And he left without saying a word! :-)
He gave me a book to learn Hebrew which belonged to his father, and one which explains each Hebrew letters. I started to read some pages but my knowledge in Judaism is bad, so i will have a look at the pictures like the kids do when they don't already know reading.
He asks me very often if i talked with Dog. He doesn't believe in Dog but thanks Dog because his life is starting to move. He is happy that i am on his path… because Dog wants that.
I am looking forward to seeing what will be his show today.

Shabbos needs to rock

Mine rocked, yours?
One photo  by Leonard Freed and one video of a music band i like a lot (no peyos to play guitar).

Teach your children well. (Hassidic boys in classroom NYC c. 1954 Ph- Leonard Freed) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcKinnMXuKg

Lubaba marketing

Two very young Lubaba came in my work place asking: 'Are you Jewish?'.
'Half' i replied.
'Which half?'
'Father.'
That was enough for them to catch my interest if i want to become a Lubaba.
I was totally out of space because they spoke a language i never heard: Dogish.
What is it? A succession of holy words: noun + verb + direct object + indirect object + adverbial phrase of time + adverbial phrase of place…
Do you want to play?
Dog daven believers to worship him better in 5774 in a shul… Bad? Yes i know.
Or we can play like Cadavres Exquis, using only holy words. Do you know this game? Not yet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exquisite_corpse
It's a very funny game. You don't need to be drunk to laugh your tuchas off.
And a song by Serge Gainsbourg (French/Russian Jewish singer i already talked about him in a previous post):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0z28ad8wt8
Some lyrics that you can google translate. The translation won't be right, but it doesn't matter because Google Translate might be a good Exquisite Corpse. A very sexual song, you will have sparkling eyes!
Si l'on jouait au jeu du cadavre exquis,
Histoire de nous passer un peu notre ennui,
Tu écris un mot n'importe quoi,
Et moi j'en inscris un autre après toi.
La petite mouche à merde,
A mis les bouchées doubles,
Y a des coups de pieds qui se perdent
Dans les roubles.
Et oui c'est ça le jeu du cadavre exquis,
Nous allons y jouer toute la nuit.
Emmanuelle aime les caresses,
Buccales et manuelles,
Remue un peu tes fesses me dit-elle.
Mais moi je préfère au jeu du cadavre exquis,
Que de t'enfiler toute la nuit.
L'humour noir vient d'Afrique,
Exemple Amin Didi je bande magnétique pour lui…

Anyway…
I could not repeat what this young man told me as a sort of propaganda to follow them in the Chabad holy temple. :-)
He gave me a 'business' card.

This Rebbe was supposed to be the Messiah but he died and the Messiah is supposed to be immortal.
Ver veys…
So what is the point? This man has many jobs: master, King Moshiach, teacher, rebbe, leader and prophet. And he has time to call me. And apparently he is back, he is on his way but shhh…

Then the Seven Universal Laws:
-1: I thought there was one Dog. Do the Christians… believe in another creator? I have never been attracted to this religion and their Jesus who was a real marketing product. And he did a good job.
-2: no comment
-3: only human life? And the animals, the nature…?
-4: some examples about the disrespect of adultery, incest? The word 'homosexuality' caught my attention when i started to read the flyer. My question is: 'Who created homosexuality?'. My reply: 'Mother Nature'. Who created Mother Nature? Dog? What's wrong with homosexuality? All this hypocrisy in religions and in the world is annoying.
Let people sleep with who they want. How many gays in Vatican? Wake up guys we are in 5774 or 21rst century.
-5: ok
-6: like the 3? Do not murder animals? Not yet. Leave the animals alone and let them be gay too… Mother Nature sends signs all the time. Remember the tsunami in Thailand? Animals were the first one to leave one day before. Listen to them a little more and you will learn a lot. Just an advice!
-7: when the Justice will be fair at 100%, call me…

Yiddish teacher or Hasidic/Frum/Jewish libido?

What is the point right now?

Why is it so difficult to find someone, man or woman to help you with some Yiddish?

Mister Cuddle is out of the game or he is playing alone with his childlike games. I am totally done with him.

I posted 3 times an ad on Craiglist to find someone and i have been flagged each time, by who?

I know who you are. The last post was in Yiddish for the childlike flagger.

Apparently you got the message to flag me once again. :-)

Hé, hé, you know that you can't flag this post? If so, i will kick your tuchas!


The post was explicit:

Looking for Yiddish classes - w4m (brooklyn)

And I can teach you anything in return, except sexual stuffs.
This is a serious post, and you can be Hasidic or not, it doesn't matter.
Yiddish classes for speaking, reading and writing.
You have to be good in Yiddish grammar.


Don't forget that i am on Craiglist and many men reply to all the posts without reading them.

It was a firework of libido.

Some wanted to teach me Hebrew, speaking a little Yiddish. I think i said Yiddish in my post, not Hebrew. I will learn it later probably but don't me make confused with 2 similar alphabets except some letters.

One example, a crass one:

'Would you like to shtup (lesson one: that means fuck)?

I have large wienershnitzsel (lesson two: penis) for you

Would like to give you my chrane(sauce)'

Thanks for that, i have a book called Dirty Yiddish, i think i have what i need in case of i have to talk Yiddish Urban Dictionary.

The other first request were about my age, and also if i can send a photo. 

n.o w.a.y.

Another one was lost in his fantasies:

'I have always wanted to meet and get to know a Jewish woman that has strong beliefs in her religious back round

I find these woman very attractive in there long black dress

Just don't know how to approach them in the street as they pass bye

Would you have an interest in building a friendship

My father is a Russian / Jewish

But was raised under my mother faith'

I am not Hasidic, bordel* (*goddamit!)

Buy glasses and a brain on Ebay!

Next!

A French man replied too, fluent in Hebrew, knowing some Yiddish with a Hasidic teacher but it doesn't mean fluent in Yiddish!

And i need someone fluent in Yiddish!

Amongst all these men, there were some i am still talking with. None women replied so far!

One helped me to translate the last post for the flagger.

He explained me things with the alphabet. He is frum, married, kids and tralala…

And we talked about other stuffs and bang!

Hi libido! How are you? Apparently fine!

I have been clear many times: no married men in my bed!

'Ok. Truth is, I shouldn't ask you for such a thing, even though I go for cute personalities, and yours sounds super hot - but the agreement was no sex. I'm sorry for being inappropriate. 

Unless you insist, I'm not gonna push it. I may joke about it, but that's all it is - joking around. 

(I can't believe I just said that, it's so not like a guy to think this way, right? Especially since your personality really turned me on)..'

I was laughing my tuchas off!

And if i haven't understood the message:

'At a certain age, personality means more than anything. You didn't have to talk fantasies, just the way you talk and handle yourself. Oh well, it is what it is. I can't make you break your rule about married men. 

But I'm still here for the Yiddish thing or we can just get high together (I would not violate your rule and make a move).. 

You're smart, witty, funny and quite intelligent.'

I don't know if he is happy with his wife, i didn't ask. I know these stories by heart, Hasidic or outsiders, it could be the same.

I didn't talk a lot about myself, didn't give description… and so many fantasies…

I know the men brain are different from women ones. But Hasidic/Frum babies, i am a normal woman, not a top model. Stop getting turned on with a few words!

What should i do? To give up with a Craiglist teacher, horny as hell?

If you want something doing, do it yourself!

And i will go and practice in the Willy stores.

A Yiddish tea: lots of spices, ginger, no no i am kidding!

Photos of Jewish wedding by Leonard Freed

USA. New York. 1954. Jewish Hassidic wedding.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Berlin. 1961. Marriage ceremony in the Berlin Synagogue,
the prayer shawl of the husband is placed over the bride's side.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Israel 1967 , Yemenite wedding. © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

NYC , 1954 , Hassidic wedding . © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Simchas L'chaim L'chaim!

You got it? I have been to my first Simchas L'chaim.
If i enjoyed it? Blah blah blah blah, indeed.
That was in Crown Heights, headquarters of the Lubaba.

More men than women and food was the good excuse for men to come in the women section.
All these beards and moustaches just for Bibi (= myself, French expression) drove me crazy. :-)
But i kept a certain dignity, though…
On the contrary, the wigs made me sad but that's another story.
I could recognize which ones like gossiping. My eyes were everywhere and my spy camera focused on the men section.

I wanted to be sure not to know one of them and felt him uncomfortable before showing up in their section to see them dancing, sweating… and taking some photos…
I enjoy the good-natured ambiance after a long day where you forgot the time, your phone…

I was very happy to meet her best friend who is like me (Jewish father, non Jewish mother). She has been raised in Jewish culture, her mother got never converted and she is not converted too. She is thinking about that. She believes in Dog, speaks Hebrew and other languages including mine so we mixed different languages.

The fiançé of my friend came in the women section and spoke to his fiançée, and you could feel they wanted to touch each other but shhhhh, they couldn't.

It missed hugs between the two opposite sexes. That was so frustrating. When they introduced a woman to a man, she can't shake his hands.
I am very tactile with people i know (not strangers) and i shake hands by courteousness when i met someone for the first time.
She has amazing friends who take care of her too so she is in good hands. I felt less worried about her fast decision to get married.
I didn't talk to her future husband but he seems nice. He has many friends, Jewish or not. It's a good sign of a nice and good person who is able to build and foster friendship with human beings from both sides.

There was a weird man who asked us for money in Hebrew/Yiddish. Later, he came in the women section, asking once again for money but also to take sneakily food, even peanuts that he put in napkins and in a plastic bag already full of food. I dislike waste of food but why not asking instead of doing it like that. That was disgusting!

Women like to dress up! But they can't be sexy, i mean no cleavage. i didn't know how to dress: modestly or not. I chose the not! :-)
Nobody wanted to pay attention to him.

I think Dog talked to me last night, but maybe it was the rum: i was not drunk, i promise!

Big Brother rabbi was watching us!

Hasidic Hip Hop: Hip Hap!

An abused Hasidic

This post concerns a young Hasidic baby, D., i had a conversation online about one year ago.

I never met him because my intuition sent me signs there was something wrong with him.

It's the story of a H baby who has been abused.

As you know, H babies lie a lot at different levels. So i am not here to say if this story is true or not but if it's that's very horrible.

I don't think that people invent this kind of story to meet outsiders, though…

It started by a normal conversation, asking the same questions.

He was born and raised in Brooklyn, separated with kids, and he has the whole Hasidic package…

He is young but i won't mention his age.

I asked him to tell me his story and bang!

'I grew up ultra orthox, but through the childhood abuse I encountered, I was spiritually dead. Now I enjoy life.'

Gloups! Ouch!

I wanted to hear more details if he was able to talk:

'Physical, sexual, and psychological' and '… the pain is deep, father, mother, brother, cousin… email cheapens this subject… one day in person, ill get down to it'.

I started to ask him questions if he was the only child to have been abused, if someone helped him, if he sued his family and if he was still in touch with it.

He asked me to call him.

I replied that i preferred to meet him in person.

How can we have a normal life after such a drama? There are no excuses to abuse someone or to rape her/him.

The conversation resumed and i was in a sort of deep empathy with his personal story.

I don't force people to talk. We work in the same field and i had a final to pass. He took and passed it a few years ago and wanted to help me to review the lessons. But i was fine.

We planned to meet soon.

His English is pretty good, he is intelligent and has friends from both sides.

He is not a judgmental person, so it was very pleasant to talk with him.

I never knew if he has met a shrink but he has met Dog:

'I love God, and have a deep relationship with Him. I needed to leave all the pain associated with religion, but I found Him, nevertheless'.

Dog is a man! :-)

My reply: 'I never found him. :-)))

But I love how my Hasidic friends talk about him. They give me the desire to believe in him  sometimes. But I can't find him. So I have other beliefs doubtless. :-))))))'

D.: 'Of course it's hard to find Him. You didn't grow up with Him.'

Me: 'Even kid I tried to understand, I have been at church service on my demand and follow some friends to catechism. Both were boring but I loved to ask sexual questions to the priest to embarrass him and maybe to get him turned on. I am very naughty sometimes. :-))))))))'

D.: 'Lol, ask me any sexual questions, you naughty girl'.

How can we have a normal sexual life after having been abused?


I can't explain how it clicked to my mind and teased deeply my intuition but if i had to meet him, i wanted to give his phone number to a friend because i didn't feel safe. I was scared of going to the bathroom and that he poured something chemical in my glass. How could i be discreet to send a text message to this friend when i was talking with him at the bar?


The next subject confirmed that my intuition was pretty good.

I asked him if he was into spanks: to give and to receive. :-)

D.: 'I love pranks, pulling them and getting them… my ex was once chewing me out, because she made a stew and I tasted it, she decided that because I tasted it, there wasnt enough for her. So I groung uo some sleeping pills and put them in… man did she sleep… never told her'.

My empathy was still there but i was scared of meeting him. Was it funny to have done that? No.

I can't blame or judge him when his family stole his innocence when he was a little boy. How long did it last? How old was he when it started?… I don't know.

My big issue was how to let him know that i don't want to meet him because of my good intuition. I am scared of not to be able to handle such a situation, and also i didn't want to hurt him by rejecting him.

I am a big fish of emotions myself and i can understand when someone doesn't want to handle my temper.


Then we resumed the spanks conversation:

D.: 'Lol, spanks? Thats my favorite play. You better watch yourself. I will be your daddy. I also love receiving'.

Me: 'I didn't say if I like or not, and if I will play with you too.

Watch out!!!!

;-))))))))))'

D.:'True, but now I know that you like to be manhandled'.

Me: 'Really?

:-)'

D.: 'Really.'

Me: 'If you say so, it's your right to think that.

I lmao on the floor. :-))))'

D.: 'Are you denying that you like to spank bad boys?'

Me: 'I don't think that I live in denial.

:-))))'

D.: 'Ok then'

Me: 'I am not a little girl anymore. :-))))'

D.: 'Fair enough, Ma'am'

Me: 'I don't like bad boys :-)))))

And you are not a little boy anymore.'

D.: 'Very very true, in so many ways'.

Me: 'I hope for you.'

D.: 'Yes, ty, it is'.

The day after

D.: 'Sorry I was out of line tonight'

Me: 'What do you mean?'

D.: 'Just too sexual'

Me: 'What?

You?

Or what we said?'

D.: 'Nevermind then'

Very intriguing and annoying not to have the end of the story.

I made a Hasidic decision: to disappear without leaving a note…

I felt guilty. I made mistakes sometimes not to follow my intuition and i got myself into trouble.

This time, i followed it. You can call me a coward or an immature person.

I am still intrigued how he looks at his children without thinking of what happened to him. 

He has two little girls, so it might be a different look that if it was little boys.

To have friends from both sides is a sign that he is sociable and probably a good person.