Emotional intelligence

What i called intelligence of heart in my country, you call it emotional intelligence here.

What i mean by this topic is i saw among my H babies a real lack of emotional intelligence.
I don't want to be mean by saying that but it's something which bothers me in a personal way.

I already said that many of them are very childish no matter their age.

I am very emotional and sensitive and i can easily be a sponge of emotions from the others.
I am very patient, they are not.

In broader terms, the most difficult thing in a relationship as friendship, loveship… whatever you call that, is to respect the other as a person, a human being with thoughts, emotions, feelings and also that it works different for each of us.
The way you will use your emotions is different from me to you.
Raised in a closed world everything is already orchestrated, organized since they were born, they need a real work on the outsider world.
They don't need to use emotions that they don't catch. They don't want you to develop them.
If some of them are more emotional, they have to hide them. Or they try to show them to the outsiders if they meet some.
But my issue is how they can show these emotions.

The second important thing to accept in a relationship is the respect of the rhythm of the other.
I mean: time.
Two people coming from different backgrounds will finish a work in a different way.
Once again they will use their emotions, feelings, logic to solve a problem. Or the rules, rabbinic, Hasidic…

Their acceptance of a 'no' is very complex.
They want something and it's right now as a whim.
Their definition of 'no' is  'no', 'can i have more time', 'not now but later perhaps'.
Is it a macho behavior? They could be inflexible.
And bang! They attack you.
You become the one who play a game. Really? Which game?
I don't have the right to breath, to be independent…
How many times, i tried to explain that if i don't want something right now it doesn't mean that i will never want this thing. Let me take my time, breath, come on guys!
They never understood.
It's now or never!
Apparently i lost all the games, except when i said yes to their requests or if i took initiatives. :-)
I don't play games, i am spontaneous and i follow my intuitions.
They don't want to understand that even if you want something deeply, you could not be in the mood this day to enjoy this thing.
Same as music, i need to be in the mood to listen to songs.
If i am down, i will listen to New Order…
If i want to cry as hell i can listen to Serge Gainsbourg 'Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais'.
The original song in French (btw an amazing French Russian Jewish singer, very provocative. The NY Jewish Orchestra has played all his songs, check out):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVMwwMCxc8Q
And a version by Mick Harvey, one of the Bad Seeds of Nick Cave who played some of the Serge Gainsbourg's songs, in English s'il vous plaît):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TbKoIaM9ug

I will talk later on this topic with the association with the availability…
I need to listen to music right now… :-))