I would like Purim each month in this community

I want to see more smiles on faces, even if they don't smile at me.
Many Jewish holy days are about mournings and the hasidic life is not an easy one.
The hasidic area in Jerusalem is very poor, in Brooklyn, it doesn't breath wealth. But we can be happy without being rich. One Satmerer man told me that 85% of Hasidic couples are unhappy. I don't know where he got this number but if it's true, it's a lot, and too much for a short life.
And sometimes, i have the desire to follow the rules perfectly without asking myself questions. Life would be less complicated. To think too much makes my life complex.
And finally i look at my life: a lost soul in half Judaism, too rebel and independent to follow very strict rules. I tried to imagine if i was born in a Hasidic family. What a mess in my family with my personality!
Amongst all the stories i heard from my Hasidic babies, there is a lot of suffering. I can't imagine to get married with someone i don't like, to let him put his hands on me. It's like a rap with the agreement of the family. Love can't exist because it's easier not to involve emotions and feelings. We are not objects.
I spoke with some Hasidim who love their wife but she was not sexual or she didn't want to do what the man wanted. So they were frustrated and were looking for a fling. They tried everything to convince me to satisfy their needs. Oh my Dog, i couldn't say yes!
The virgin ones are the more persistent. They asked me advices if they have to sleep with someone/me, or not. I never gave advices about that. The lack of sex drove them crazy: their body wanted but their mind didn't. The Torah and Dog scared them.
It was like a hormones storm. They disappeared for long and when the hormones tickled them, they came back to me. I tried to calm them down with words and told them to follow their intuitions or to find someone who can help them.
The world is so cruel and hard and their small world doesn't spare them either. Some asked me very intimate questions about what is sex. They are completely confused. I read that there are rabbis who are here to explain sexual things before the marriage and this awful first night where you have to do your husband duty for the first time.
I felt very sad for them. They didn't want to get married just to have sex but they prefer to wait for the good time, the woman who will make their little hearts be stirred… Good point!
Purim is a awesome holy day to bring joy on their face, to have rest and to enjoy their wives/husband when they like each other.