Hasidic maturity

I wrote a 'positive' title. Why? Because!
According to Wikipedia, the psychological definition is very interesting:

"In psychology, maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in.^[1] Adult development and maturity theories include the purpose in life concept, in which maturity emphasizes a clear comprehension of life's purpose, directedness, and intentionality, which contributes to the feeling that life is meaningful.^[2]

The status of maturity is distinguished by the shift away from reliance on guardianship and the oversight of an adult in decision-making acts. Maturity has different definitions across legal, social, religious, political, sexual, emotional, and intellectual contexts. The age or qualities assigned for each of these contexts are tied to culturally-significant indicators of independence that often vary as a result of social sentiments. The concept of psychological maturity has implications across both legal and social contexts, while a combination of political activism and scientific evidence continue to reshape and qualify its definition. Because of these factors, the notion and definition of maturity and immaturity is somewhat subjective." 

The second paragraphe drew my attention particularly.
"Maturity has different definitions across legal, social, religious, political, sexual, emotional, and intellectual contexts."
In the Hasidic/Jewish world, bar-mitzvah and bat-mitzvah is the beginning of puberty.
Have you noticed that for the girls, it's one year earlier than the boys? Why?
We say that girls are mature earlier than boys.
The meaning of this "include moral responsibility for own actions…" (© Wikipedia).
Girls start to have boobs and boys some poils au kiki/zizi* (*hair on your penis). :-)
Anatomically speaking, hair is around your wooden stick. But ver veys, with all the Kosher GMO in this country what it will happen with your hair or mister P.? :-)

The Hasidim are supposed to get married between 18 and 22 like the very old generations.  Except that the old generations passed away earlier. In this modern world, who wants to get married and to have kids so early? My H babies. :-)
I stopped talking to very young Hasidim. They persisted "I am very mature!". They were between 19 and 22 years old. Come on little young men!
I tried sometimes, but it was boring! They wanted to discover the outside world and they didn't know where to start. To discover the world, that's not only words on a screen, it means to live some experiences but they are tied to their religious life and the fear of the unknown. If it happens something bad, there will be nobody to help them! They will be shamed…!
I talked with someone lately. He is in his mid-thirties. He decided to open his window to the secular world. He gave me his real name… I explained to him not to do that. I can't call that immaturity according to his cultural and religious background, but ignorance. But he will may have an immature protection to defend himself. This is the gap between them and me.
According to some laws and culture here, my behavior might be seen immature. The French curse a lot, and i curse because i am fiery. :-) No worries, i don't have fiery crisis everyday. I can be very zen!
My recipe is to think of my future projects, and it makes me serene.
To go and live in a war country might make me help to find this shalom: 'Make love, not war!'.

The non acceptance of a 'no' make Hasidim very immature. I had to explain that i am not all the time available. I had to deal with their crisis of abandon. :-)

"The concept of psychological maturity has implications across both legal and social contexts, while a combination of political activism and scientific evidence continue to reshape and qualify its definition. Because of these factors, the notion and definition of maturity and immaturity is somewhat subjective."
I totally agree. What some Hasidim said to me, they might think that in their community, that's something obvious, when i judge that as immature.
What helped me to grow up? Culture and life experiences, travels… But i admit that i can be very childlike, it relaxes me!

Maybe it's time for me to do my bat-mitzvah: Aliyah to the Torah and also Aliyah to the holy land.
Who wants to bless my tushas? :-)
"G-ddess helps those who help themselves!".

Nalewski Street in Warsaw Jewish quarter, 1934 © Willem van de Poll