Yiddish teacher or Hasidic/Frum/Jewish libido?

What is the point right now?

Why is it so difficult to find someone, man or woman to help you with some Yiddish?

Mister Cuddle is out of the game or he is playing alone with his childlike games. I am totally done with him.

I posted 3 times an ad on Craiglist to find someone and i have been flagged each time, by who?

I know who you are. The last post was in Yiddish for the childlike flagger.

Apparently you got the message to flag me once again. :-)

Hé, hé, you know that you can't flag this post? If so, i will kick your tuchas!


The post was explicit:

Looking for Yiddish classes - w4m (brooklyn)

And I can teach you anything in return, except sexual stuffs.
This is a serious post, and you can be Hasidic or not, it doesn't matter.
Yiddish classes for speaking, reading and writing.
You have to be good in Yiddish grammar.


Don't forget that i am on Craiglist and many men reply to all the posts without reading them.

It was a firework of libido.

Some wanted to teach me Hebrew, speaking a little Yiddish. I think i said Yiddish in my post, not Hebrew. I will learn it later probably but don't me make confused with 2 similar alphabets except some letters.

One example, a crass one:

'Would you like to shtup (lesson one: that means fuck)?

I have large wienershnitzsel (lesson two: penis) for you

Would like to give you my chrane(sauce)'

Thanks for that, i have a book called Dirty Yiddish, i think i have what i need in case of i have to talk Yiddish Urban Dictionary.

The other first request were about my age, and also if i can send a photo. 

n.o w.a.y.

Another one was lost in his fantasies:

'I have always wanted to meet and get to know a Jewish woman that has strong beliefs in her religious back round

I find these woman very attractive in there long black dress

Just don't know how to approach them in the street as they pass bye

Would you have an interest in building a friendship

My father is a Russian / Jewish

But was raised under my mother faith'

I am not Hasidic, bordel* (*goddamit!)

Buy glasses and a brain on Ebay!

Next!

A French man replied too, fluent in Hebrew, knowing some Yiddish with a Hasidic teacher but it doesn't mean fluent in Yiddish!

And i need someone fluent in Yiddish!

Amongst all these men, there were some i am still talking with. None women replied so far!

One helped me to translate the last post for the flagger.

He explained me things with the alphabet. He is frum, married, kids and tralala…

And we talked about other stuffs and bang!

Hi libido! How are you? Apparently fine!

I have been clear many times: no married men in my bed!

'Ok. Truth is, I shouldn't ask you for such a thing, even though I go for cute personalities, and yours sounds super hot - but the agreement was no sex. I'm sorry for being inappropriate. 

Unless you insist, I'm not gonna push it. I may joke about it, but that's all it is - joking around. 

(I can't believe I just said that, it's so not like a guy to think this way, right? Especially since your personality really turned me on)..'

I was laughing my tuchas off!

And if i haven't understood the message:

'At a certain age, personality means more than anything. You didn't have to talk fantasies, just the way you talk and handle yourself. Oh well, it is what it is. I can't make you break your rule about married men. 

But I'm still here for the Yiddish thing or we can just get high together (I would not violate your rule and make a move).. 

You're smart, witty, funny and quite intelligent.'

I don't know if he is happy with his wife, i didn't ask. I know these stories by heart, Hasidic or outsiders, it could be the same.

I didn't talk a lot about myself, didn't give description… and so many fantasies…

I know the men brain are different from women ones. But Hasidic/Frum babies, i am a normal woman, not a top model. Stop getting turned on with a few words!

What should i do? To give up with a Craiglist teacher, horny as hell?

If you want something doing, do it yourself!

And i will go and practice in the Willy stores.

A Yiddish tea: lots of spices, ginger, no no i am kidding!

Photos of Jewish wedding by Leonard Freed

USA. New York. 1954. Jewish Hassidic wedding.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Berlin. 1961. Marriage ceremony in the Berlin Synagogue,
the prayer shawl of the husband is placed over the bride's side.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Israel 1967 , Yemenite wedding. © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

NYC , 1954 , Hassidic wedding . © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photos

Simchas L'chaim L'chaim!

You got it? I have been to my first Simchas L'chaim.
If i enjoyed it? Blah blah blah blah, indeed.
That was in Crown Heights, headquarters of the Lubaba.

More men than women and food was the good excuse for men to come in the women section.
All these beards and moustaches just for Bibi (= myself, French expression) drove me crazy. :-)
But i kept a certain dignity, though…
On the contrary, the wigs made me sad but that's another story.
I could recognize which ones like gossiping. My eyes were everywhere and my spy camera focused on the men section.

I wanted to be sure not to know one of them and felt him uncomfortable before showing up in their section to see them dancing, sweating… and taking some photos…
I enjoy the good-natured ambiance after a long day where you forgot the time, your phone…

I was very happy to meet her best friend who is like me (Jewish father, non Jewish mother). She has been raised in Jewish culture, her mother got never converted and she is not converted too. She is thinking about that. She believes in Dog, speaks Hebrew and other languages including mine so we mixed different languages.

The fiançé of my friend came in the women section and spoke to his fiançée, and you could feel they wanted to touch each other but shhhhh, they couldn't.

It missed hugs between the two opposite sexes. That was so frustrating. When they introduced a woman to a man, she can't shake his hands.
I am very tactile with people i know (not strangers) and i shake hands by courteousness when i met someone for the first time.
She has amazing friends who take care of her too so she is in good hands. I felt less worried about her fast decision to get married.
I didn't talk to her future husband but he seems nice. He has many friends, Jewish or not. It's a good sign of a nice and good person who is able to build and foster friendship with human beings from both sides.

There was a weird man who asked us for money in Hebrew/Yiddish. Later, he came in the women section, asking once again for money but also to take sneakily food, even peanuts that he put in napkins and in a plastic bag already full of food. I dislike waste of food but why not asking instead of doing it like that. That was disgusting!

Women like to dress up! But they can't be sexy, i mean no cleavage. i didn't know how to dress: modestly or not. I chose the not! :-)
Nobody wanted to pay attention to him.

I think Dog talked to me last night, but maybe it was the rum: i was not drunk, i promise!

Big Brother rabbi was watching us!

Hasidic Hip Hop: Hip Hap!

An abused Hasidic

This post concerns a young Hasidic baby, D., i had a conversation online about one year ago.

I never met him because my intuition sent me signs there was something wrong with him.

It's the story of a H baby who has been abused.

As you know, H babies lie a lot at different levels. So i am not here to say if this story is true or not but if it's that's very horrible.

I don't think that people invent this kind of story to meet outsiders, though…

It started by a normal conversation, asking the same questions.

He was born and raised in Brooklyn, separated with kids, and he has the whole Hasidic package…

He is young but i won't mention his age.

I asked him to tell me his story and bang!

'I grew up ultra orthox, but through the childhood abuse I encountered, I was spiritually dead. Now I enjoy life.'

Gloups! Ouch!

I wanted to hear more details if he was able to talk:

'Physical, sexual, and psychological' and '… the pain is deep, father, mother, brother, cousin… email cheapens this subject… one day in person, ill get down to it'.

I started to ask him questions if he was the only child to have been abused, if someone helped him, if he sued his family and if he was still in touch with it.

He asked me to call him.

I replied that i preferred to meet him in person.

How can we have a normal life after such a drama? There are no excuses to abuse someone or to rape her/him.

The conversation resumed and i was in a sort of deep empathy with his personal story.

I don't force people to talk. We work in the same field and i had a final to pass. He took and passed it a few years ago and wanted to help me to review the lessons. But i was fine.

We planned to meet soon.

His English is pretty good, he is intelligent and has friends from both sides.

He is not a judgmental person, so it was very pleasant to talk with him.

I never knew if he has met a shrink but he has met Dog:

'I love God, and have a deep relationship with Him. I needed to leave all the pain associated with religion, but I found Him, nevertheless'.

Dog is a man! :-)

My reply: 'I never found him. :-)))

But I love how my Hasidic friends talk about him. They give me the desire to believe in him  sometimes. But I can't find him. So I have other beliefs doubtless. :-))))))'

D.: 'Of course it's hard to find Him. You didn't grow up with Him.'

Me: 'Even kid I tried to understand, I have been at church service on my demand and follow some friends to catechism. Both were boring but I loved to ask sexual questions to the priest to embarrass him and maybe to get him turned on. I am very naughty sometimes. :-))))))))'

D.: 'Lol, ask me any sexual questions, you naughty girl'.

How can we have a normal sexual life after having been abused?


I can't explain how it clicked to my mind and teased deeply my intuition but if i had to meet him, i wanted to give his phone number to a friend because i didn't feel safe. I was scared of going to the bathroom and that he poured something chemical in my glass. How could i be discreet to send a text message to this friend when i was talking with him at the bar?


The next subject confirmed that my intuition was pretty good.

I asked him if he was into spanks: to give and to receive. :-)

D.: 'I love pranks, pulling them and getting them… my ex was once chewing me out, because she made a stew and I tasted it, she decided that because I tasted it, there wasnt enough for her. So I groung uo some sleeping pills and put them in… man did she sleep… never told her'.

My empathy was still there but i was scared of meeting him. Was it funny to have done that? No.

I can't blame or judge him when his family stole his innocence when he was a little boy. How long did it last? How old was he when it started?… I don't know.

My big issue was how to let him know that i don't want to meet him because of my good intuition. I am scared of not to be able to handle such a situation, and also i didn't want to hurt him by rejecting him.

I am a big fish of emotions myself and i can understand when someone doesn't want to handle my temper.


Then we resumed the spanks conversation:

D.: 'Lol, spanks? Thats my favorite play. You better watch yourself. I will be your daddy. I also love receiving'.

Me: 'I didn't say if I like or not, and if I will play with you too.

Watch out!!!!

;-))))))))))'

D.:'True, but now I know that you like to be manhandled'.

Me: 'Really?

:-)'

D.: 'Really.'

Me: 'If you say so, it's your right to think that.

I lmao on the floor. :-))))'

D.: 'Are you denying that you like to spank bad boys?'

Me: 'I don't think that I live in denial.

:-))))'

D.: 'Ok then'

Me: 'I am not a little girl anymore. :-))))'

D.: 'Fair enough, Ma'am'

Me: 'I don't like bad boys :-)))))

And you are not a little boy anymore.'

D.: 'Very very true, in so many ways'.

Me: 'I hope for you.'

D.: 'Yes, ty, it is'.

The day after

D.: 'Sorry I was out of line tonight'

Me: 'What do you mean?'

D.: 'Just too sexual'

Me: 'What?

You?

Or what we said?'

D.: 'Nevermind then'

Very intriguing and annoying not to have the end of the story.

I made a Hasidic decision: to disappear without leaving a note…

I felt guilty. I made mistakes sometimes not to follow my intuition and i got myself into trouble.

This time, i followed it. You can call me a coward or an immature person.

I am still intrigued how he looks at his children without thinking of what happened to him. 

He has two little girls, so it might be a different look that if it was little boys.

To have friends from both sides is a sign that he is sociable and probably a good person.

If the world would be bigger

We all try to hide…
You leave your country and the first thing i avoid is to meet French people.
I am here to dive in a world of different cultures as i am used to enjoying it…
Then you meet nice and bad people…

Last March, i was on my way to close my work place and to leave.
A guy came in and he saw some Hasidic stuffs i had.
We started to talk about the complexity of my Jewishness.
He is Jewish, lives in Willy and is getting to convert to be a Satmarer.
He calls himself 'The Satmarcentric yid'.
But without all the Hasidic package: no black clothes, no peyos…
He used to organize parties between Hasidim and hipsters 12 years ago. True or not?
He was not very clear about his Satmar intentions.
He offered me to meet a woman from Satmar who could help me to understand who i am, so be it…

The day after, he sent me an email to set up a class with me to study Beyond A Reasonable Doubt by Rabbi Shmuel Walman.
I googled the book and found it was recommended for readers with a strong Torah background. With my Torah For Dummies, my background was a little poor.
I asked other Hasidic and ex Hasidic guys about the book: "It will confuse your mind more" and "bullshit".
But i felt the intention of this man was to spend time with me to chat me up. And sorry, he smells bad, and he didn't have all his teeth. :-)
He looked like more than his age, i think it was 55 or 58.
Last time i replied to his persistent emails was after i came back from my roots, end of April.

He sent me one or two emails with things he sells in a store in Coney Island…
I never replied.

Yesterday, a meshuga Jewish guy came in my work place. He said he is an actor. I was at a real show.
He doesn't believe in Dog but tried to convince me that Dog exists. He wanted me to lock the door and to talk to Dog once he left.
He think that Dog is responsible of our destiny, choices, chance…
Because i don't believe that things come randomly, does it mean i believe in Dog. According to him, yes.
He came back later to show me his Jewish gift bow that he wants to sell…
He wants to organize a party in my work place with DJ as myself.
He was on his way to leave when a Jewish couple came in.
The woman is my homonym i already talked about her on this blog. She came with his boyfriend.
She knew the meshuga guy that she hasn't seen since one year.
That was totally crazy, especially when the meshuga guy realized that the boyfriend was his teacher a long time ago.
They decided to go to the place of the crazy guy and came back later to me telling me to be cautious with him.
I asked how was his wife: depressed…
He didn't want them to leave, he was very dominant and overbearing with them. They ran away.

And today the Satmarcentric sent me an email that he just talked with the meshuga guy that he knows very well.
Such a nightmare!
The meshuga guy came back with his wife. I don't really know if she is depressed but she is quiet enough to handle a egocentric man as he is.
I was very embarrassed because he gave me so many compliments in front of his wife. That was not easy to include her in the conversation. But she knows her husband better than me and, she asked me questions too.
He talked about his friend, the pre-Satmar, and i didn't mention that i received an email. I just said that i met him once. He wants to bring him back to my work place. Help! Help!

The meshuga guy told me he got converted to Sephardic. I didn't know you could do that.
Everything is Kosher for him if there is no pig: keyboard shortcut for him not for the H babies.


Last news of Mister Cuddle: i found a Missy Cuddle who gave me her email address. Her nickname is Moonflower.
I don't have more details if he really emailed her. Because he lies, watch out!

My Hasidic girlfriend is engaged and we will have a L'chaim party this week! I am looking forward to meeting her future husband, friends…

Berdychiv Synagogue, ul. Machnowiecka, UKRAINE, 103 years ago (c. 1910)

Simone de Beauvoir

Ok H babies, she is not Hasidic, or American but it's Friday and the week-end is for galipettes (sexual dalliances) in Hasidic families. :-)
She is a French writer, a feminist but not in a radical way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simone_de_Beauvoir
Her famous novel is The Second Sex that i recommend to all the H babies for many reasons.
Once you have read this one, i will recommend you America Day by Day that she wrote in 1947.
She lived a long relationship with Jean-Paul Sartre, another famous French writer. They had lovers of both sex and sometimes they shared them.

This woman, Catholic from a bourgeois family, wrote a lot about women condition…
So H babies, it's time for you to understand how a woman brain works, no?
That will be a good start instead of having fantasies about a shiksa that you have never seen. :-)
Yes women have a brain and can decide which man can share their pillow, and we are not disposable toys for your male libido. 

I started to read America Day by Day, and what she thinks of the American society in 1947 didn't really change. I can make a parallel with the H babies in their relationship to women which is complex.
The trivialization of sex in the American society is current in 1947 and it's worse now.
For some H babies, that could be current if the desire to have sex wasn't handle by the Torah. Penetration is the worst sin, but the rest has no value.
'On ne voit pas d'amoureux dans les rues ; dans les allées de Central Park, pas de couples enlacés, pas de lèvres jointes. D'ailleurs on parle de l'amour avec des mots spécialisés, presque hygiéniques : une femme agréable est sexy, on aimerait avoir avec elle une sex-affair, un sexual-intercourse. Il y a une acceptation rationnelle de la sensualité qui est une manière sournoise de la refuser.' 
She said that 'we can't see lovers in the streets, in the alleys of Central Park, no embraced couples, no kisses. Moreover, we talk about love with specialized words, nearly hygienic: a pleasant woman is sexy, we would like to have a sex-affair with her, a sexual-intercourse. There is a rational acceptation of the sensuality which is a sneaky manner to refuse it.'

New York and his society of consumption of food, shopping, money, and also women.
Hasidic community and his society of consumption of Torah, children, Dog and women… Living in a closed world where you can't kiss your wife in public place, not even hold her hand because most of the time they don't like each other, and the customs have to restrict the H women to be sexy in the streets. But the real questions is 'how to calm down the male hormones'. If Moses has written the book, he was a man thinking with his penis first before his brain? Polygamy was accepted at the beginning but only for men.

So H babies, read Simone de Beauvoir to know how to treat a woman. You can't force someone to give you enjoyment behind a screen. Recently, a H baby offered me to meet in a bar and agreed to hide his peyos (after i gave him the recipe: to buy a baseball cap, to take off his tzitzit or put the fringes in his pants), if i let him touch me badly. He never saw me and, i refuse to meet him so far.
He has never been in a bar with a shiksa and he is scared of losing everything. Stop to this paranoia! The community is big but not everywhere.

Ask Santa Hannukah to bring you these books, they will light your steamy dreams up!
I like you a lot H babies but let me breath sometimes! :-)

Last Thursday

My only ex hasidic female friend announced me she will get married soon.
How surprised, cautious, happy i was!

I met her via Craiglist during summer 2012.
First, i thought she was a man and asked her many times before meeting her in Borough Park.
Very few Hasidic women are on CL.
The first meeting was nice. She was disturbed, anxious to meet someone from the community, not because she was with a woman but with a 'shiksa'.
She chose the area where to meet, she probably knew what she was doing.
Two ex Hasidic babies friends were scared for me that she was a man with bad intentions. I have to give them news just after the meeting. :-)
She told me that she didn't want to get married to a man she didn't love and shave her hair.
Her close sister just got married a few months before, and left for Upstate NY. She felt alone.
She used to hang out with H babies but i was the first outsider she met.

I felt all the drama she was living, struggling with her emotions to make her parents accept she was 'different'. No, you are not!
She prayed a lot, she told me!

She had a job in a Jewish family in the Bronx. I met them at the shul in Manhattan a few times.
They were nice with her. They helped her a lot after she ran away from her family.
She used to live with them till the woman of the family asked her for leaving asasp.
Another drama.
I met her during these hectic times and asked her to stay in my place to breath a little.
She was very strong but you can feel that her body was full of tears. One drama after another one.
She couldn't drink her morning coffee before getting back to the family for a new fight.

They found her an apartment, she found a job in a field she likes.
Another new start.
She is a strong believer, she loves Dog.
And she believes in love!

She met Jewish men but once again: dramas. She had the strength to move on them fast.

And she met love.

A man from Crown Heights, and she will live soon in my area. That's great!
She asked me questions if i have already met him: no.
I am not sure to have talked to him on CL because of the fake names.
But he is young, and i avoid to talk to too young men.

I remain cautious because she met him via a friend since a couple of months.
She lives with her best friend, a Jewish young girl. She likes her lover.
If you don't know me, i am straightforward and i prefer to prevent than to cure.
So i asked her the fatal questions: 'Why do you want to get married so fast?'.
Her reply gave me cold sweat: 'im scared that i wont ever get married, and that i wont find someone to love me. its scary without family.
im still sooo sad about losing them.'
When she left the community, her parents cut her off.
She invited her mother who tried to call her after she ran away. But her father asked her not to do it anymore because she was dead for them. And she lost contact with her close sister who moved abroad later.
Yes, that's pretty sad!
I can't convince her to wait a little. I told her to follow her intuition.

And i am happy for her, my heart will remain a little worried.
It will be my first Hasidic wedding: 'you are my French soul sister. you will be tanty Emma to my kinderlach.'
Yippee! I have found a Hasidic family at last!
I will probably cried rivers of tears…

She is not going to shave her hair, i didn't ask for the wig.
Her best friend is very sad that she will leave her but she can move in Crown Heights, working in Brooklyn, that will be easier and funnier.

So it was a perfect day as Lou Reed used to sing it. I didn't know he was Jewish, but who cares!
A video of this song with images from one of my favorite movie 'The Wings Of Desire' by Wim Wenders. Beautiful German language, beautiful shoot of Berlin, delightful music…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGiL9SOqhO8

I don't pray but i cross my fingers that it will be a long marriage of love… and Hasidic as well…