We don't have this sort of gathering in France, i.e. pajamas party…
I dislike sleeping with a pajama: night dress or naked according to the season.
I can't stand to be tight in clothes: my body needs to breath. If i could wear sandals during the winter, i would do it!
Pajama party: no way for me!
The day started with the very bad news of these three boys killed like animals in a desert land.
Very sad news indeed!
The flow of hatred in USA that i have read on social networks made me deeply vomit.
The violence calls the violence… Same history, days after days.
This lack of ignorance brought so much fire here, when in Israel, they gathered in silence, mourning, singing, lighting candles, thinking more of the sadness of the parents and family.
I stop reading the US networks, and focused on the mourning in Israel.
This Farbrengen was in their memory too.
We were surrounded by books, Jewish books, woodwork. It was warm and cozy.
I didn't arrive at time but i was the first one once again. :-)
I talked with the librarian, waiting for the others.
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| Gimmel Tammuz Farbrengen library, 2014, ©emmarubinstein |
I was amongst the devoted women, and i had a part to play: to feel this feminine devotion.
Since 3 years, i am amongst the devoted men, online or in person.
I saw the women at the shul, praying, but i never talked with her about their devotion. I only brushed against.
With my only Hasidic female friend, we never talked about G-d, only of her problems and how i could help her if she needed it.
I listened this young woman who was talking between accoustic niggunim.
I never asked questions. A woman asked her about Jews who don't believe in G-d, how to help them to come back to their faith…
I made a parallel in my mind with a Catholic or Christian gathering which is so boring usually. I didn't feel bored at all. I probably had a weird expression because i was concentrated on the speeches.
Before the beginning, a young woman introduced herself to me, and asked me where i was from…
I told her the truth about the percentage of my Jewish blood, and she reacted weirdly, looking at me like i was a monster. She was very young and immature in her behavior. She was not married.
I told her that i have Hasidic male friends too, she was stunned. Next time, i keep that for me too. :-)
I didn't feel offended, i don't care of what she was thinking of me. I don't feel shiksa anymore but a sort of Ba'al Teshuva. I don't know her either. That was not a big deal!
Later, she fell asleep on her chair. :-)
If someone who knows me a little has the same attitude, i will open hostilities, without violence! :-)
Don't judge my blood and its percentage! I am Jewish, that's all! Let me swim in my own Jewish
fluid!
I noticed that people introduced to others by their first name and last name. They didn't ask me mine, because i don't have a Jewish first name perhaps, and i come from the moon.
There were different fashion style. One hippie woman was wearing a ragamuffin hat with a skirt full of colored patterns.The rest is more or less old-fashioned. I wore a legging with regret, but my feet was breathing the AC.
My Shabbos host was there too, and we introduced each other in person. She won't have a stranger knocking at her door next Friday. She has a beautiful face, and she is a gentle person, respectful, and probably a good listener. She is a BT i think so!
Her roommate that i had already met, felt pressure when i said that it will be my first Shabbos meal in a Lubaba family. No pressure because it will stress me too. I don't want to cry either, because we don't cry for Shabbos! :-)
I told her that she will make a mitzvah with me as a social case that i am. :-)
I downloaded an application to remind me what i have to do for Shabbos, and learn the blessings and co.
There was another woman who seemed to be on a BT path too. She was weird, like she was high, without smoking weed. :-) She was laughing often, hum maybe…hum.
She asked me questions about some Hebrew words that the orator was saying. She asked me a question that i didn't understand. She made me high! :-)
The music was beautiful: djembe, guitar, and flute.
I couldn't sing with them, i needed the Hebrew lyrics.
Music leads to dance…
I post one video because i was a bad phone filmmaker, and i don't want to show faces. It's dark and you can only see feet.
I left at the end, after midnight, and Kingston Ave was full of men. They never sleep.
An old Hasidic man, sat on a bench sent me a mischievous smile, i smiled back, and laughed discreetly just after!
I slept well and dissolved into tears this morning when i read the speeches of the families of these 3 teenagers at their funeral. Their acceptance of the drama, with the help of G-d, keeps on surprising me!
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