Mister Cuddle

Recently, i met a frum in his late 30s. He is not Hasidic: no beard, no moustache!
He said i won't be disappointed: i won't be for sure, he is married.
He didn't want to tell me his common name because he is cautious. He is right: with a first name i will find him out very easily! :-)
He wanted to speak on the phone without giving me his phone number: you are right, i will stalk you, i have nothing better to do.
The online conversations were funny but if i asked too many private questions, he said that he will reply in person.
Incredible paranoia! Maybe worse than the one of the H babies!
He speaks my language but he needs improvement so the deal was: he teaches me Yiddish one hour and in return i teach him French one hour, and the last hour we speak Frenchdish, Yiddench if we are drunk.
He accepted the deal.
He is not a patient person so the occasion to have a wedding in the area where i work was an excuse to meet me 2 minutes.

We had a conversation on the phone previously. He told me that the sex was inexistent with his wife and she asked him to go and sleep with other women! Ouch!

He was very persistent and needed to meet me to check if i was real after a phone conversation: i don't disguise my voice when talking on the phone.
If i don't reply to his emails within the next 2 minutes, he sent the same twice… :-)
'I am patient and very human- I am kind sweet tactile and giving. I am honest, but you can not know that yet.'

I made him promise not to stalk me. He promised.
His next emails were his GPS way, and i had to stop him to turn in my street. '630': i know by heart all the buildings of the avenue. Stop!

He came. He was always on the go. He was already late for the wedding when he arrived here.
I had to throw him away. He felt more comfortable, i was real! Kidding!

Later, the conversation was resumed by email. I was focused on the idea of our language classes but not him.
He started by asking if i like massages: no, by strangers, yes, by my boyfriend.
'A shame for you. Mine are amazing'. I reminded him he was married, he understood 'Does that mean I am married and ugly ?'. What is the point?
'I am NOT looking for sex but a friend somebody to be warm and cuddly with would be amazing'.
I know pretty well how it starts and how it could end.
I am not a cuddles machine, let me breath!

His message was unclear: he wanted to hold and talk. To hold what? 'I don't know'.
I helped him to tell me which things he wanted to hold 'book, hands, body…?'
I just offered a decent proposition: 'we will start by you, holding your French book, me, holding my Yiddish book.'

I let him calm his sexual hormones down and he came back after Shabbos: 'I really need a cuddle partner too though'.

I decided to be a good friend and to post an ad for him on Craiglist to help him to find Mrs Cuddle to cuddle Mister Cuddle!
He was very happy!
The first reply was by a Frum male who was confused with the ad. He is looking for the same thing that Mister Cuddle. I might share the replies with both of them after all.
Two replies so far and i think they came from prostitutes.

But Mister Cuddle is more persistent and wants me to be Mrs Cuddle: 'You should let me please u'.
No way!
I asked him if he had a crush on me: 'Will admitting it help you agree ?'
And he added that he was separated and that was a deep secret.
I couldn't believe him anymore. And he said earlier he was honest.
He tried to convince me: 'maybe if we start off with the cuddling and friendship over time you can believe'.
In parallel, i had the second Frum who is persistent too and tried to be witty to convince me to cuddle him later. :-)

So many desperate men! Please guys, get divorced and enjoy life! I know that's not so easy but give it a try!
Could Shabbos be earlier this week please? Thanks!