When a frum talks about the Hasidic babies

That's very interesting what this frum wrote to me. 
Usually, i don't like when someone criticizes my parents, i am the only one to have this right.

He knows better than me this community, i am just listening:
'- They have an ego about them. They feel above everyone else.
- It seems they have little-to-no respect for women and ANYONE who is not one of them.
- These guys, the majority of them perhaps, put on a pious act. It's the basic stuff that bothers me. Their Torah learning does not impress me if they do not have common courtesy towards other people. A smile. A thank you. A How are you? Giving up their seat to a woman, pregnant woman or an elderly individual, helping someone carry a carriage in the subway's staircase, the list goes on. Where are they with their basic concern for others?
STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE WHO CALLS YOU A SHIKSA. ICH. That's disgusting. Especially if he liked you. How can he call you that? It's derogatory.
Don't get me wrong. They have their positives. I hate to stereotype. But they should know better. They should work on their reputations.' 

So H babies, what do you think about that?
Shiksa, ah!
Many Jews told me not to use this word, but to say "non Jewish girl".
I thought of changing the name of this blog after their comments.

'Shiksa (Yiddish: שיקסע shikse) is a word of Yiddish origin that has moved into English usage (as well as Polish), mostly in North American Jewish culture, as a term for anon-Jewish woman, initially and sometimes still pejorative but now often used satirically. Shiksa refers to any non-Jewish (gentile) woman or girl who might be a temptation to Jewish men or boys, e.g., for dating, intermarriage, etc.' ©Wikipedia

'A Gentile girl or woman, especially one who has attracted a Jewish man. The term derives from the Hebrew word "sheketz", meaning the flesh of an animal deemed taboo by the Torah. Since a Jewish man marrying a non-Jewish woman is taboo also, this word applies to her. 

Traditionally this is a derogatory term, though in modern times it has also been used more light-heartedly.' ©Urban Dictionary

Should i keep or change the name? Maybe if i find something better.

I am a half shiksa with a Jewish heart and soul, and an atheist faith. I am lost!

Mister Cuddle

Recently, i met a frum in his late 30s. He is not Hasidic: no beard, no moustache!
He said i won't be disappointed: i won't be for sure, he is married.
He didn't want to tell me his common name because he is cautious. He is right: with a first name i will find him out very easily! :-)
He wanted to speak on the phone without giving me his phone number: you are right, i will stalk you, i have nothing better to do.
The online conversations were funny but if i asked too many private questions, he said that he will reply in person.
Incredible paranoia! Maybe worse than the one of the H babies!
He speaks my language but he needs improvement so the deal was: he teaches me Yiddish one hour and in return i teach him French one hour, and the last hour we speak Frenchdish, Yiddench if we are drunk.
He accepted the deal.
He is not a patient person so the occasion to have a wedding in the area where i work was an excuse to meet me 2 minutes.

We had a conversation on the phone previously. He told me that the sex was inexistent with his wife and she asked him to go and sleep with other women! Ouch!

He was very persistent and needed to meet me to check if i was real after a phone conversation: i don't disguise my voice when talking on the phone.
If i don't reply to his emails within the next 2 minutes, he sent the same twice… :-)
'I am patient and very human- I am kind sweet tactile and giving. I am honest, but you can not know that yet.'

I made him promise not to stalk me. He promised.
His next emails were his GPS way, and i had to stop him to turn in my street. '630': i know by heart all the buildings of the avenue. Stop!

He came. He was always on the go. He was already late for the wedding when he arrived here.
I had to throw him away. He felt more comfortable, i was real! Kidding!

Later, the conversation was resumed by email. I was focused on the idea of our language classes but not him.
He started by asking if i like massages: no, by strangers, yes, by my boyfriend.
'A shame for you. Mine are amazing'. I reminded him he was married, he understood 'Does that mean I am married and ugly ?'. What is the point?
'I am NOT looking for sex but a friend somebody to be warm and cuddly with would be amazing'.
I know pretty well how it starts and how it could end.
I am not a cuddles machine, let me breath!

His message was unclear: he wanted to hold and talk. To hold what? 'I don't know'.
I helped him to tell me which things he wanted to hold 'book, hands, body…?'
I just offered a decent proposition: 'we will start by you, holding your French book, me, holding my Yiddish book.'

I let him calm his sexual hormones down and he came back after Shabbos: 'I really need a cuddle partner too though'.

I decided to be a good friend and to post an ad for him on Craiglist to help him to find Mrs Cuddle to cuddle Mister Cuddle!
He was very happy!
The first reply was by a Frum male who was confused with the ad. He is looking for the same thing that Mister Cuddle. I might share the replies with both of them after all.
Two replies so far and i think they came from prostitutes.

But Mister Cuddle is more persistent and wants me to be Mrs Cuddle: 'You should let me please u'.
No way!
I asked him if he had a crush on me: 'Will admitting it help you agree ?'
And he added that he was separated and that was a deep secret.
I couldn't believe him anymore. And he said earlier he was honest.
He tried to convince me: 'maybe if we start off with the cuddling and friendship over time you can believe'.
In parallel, i had the second Frum who is persistent too and tried to be witty to convince me to cuddle him later. :-)

So many desperate men! Please guys, get divorced and enjoy life! I know that's not so easy but give it a try!
Could Shabbos be earlier this week please? Thanks!

H Halloween or not?

I found a post which makes me have the giggles.
Some H babies didn't like this post because they think, what did they think?
I let you do your own opinion!
This is the link:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/stp/4085288381.html
And his text:
hi iam a 43 crossdresser who loves to dress up as a frum woman looking to dress up for a frum guy .maybe i can dress up for you while your wife is away upstate and be your seceret frum wife .new to men looking for safe fun only very discrete here  

He posted photos of him dressed up as frum woman.
I was intrigued and I wrote to this man. I thought he was gay but not at all.
He met one Hasidic man and he said it was so so without giving me details.
He doesn't seem very smart. Why did he post a photo of his penis too?
Later, he wanted to chat with me and meet me up. No way! :)
The only things i know is that he likes dressing like a frum woman a lot. I wanted to know the reasons.
He doesn't seem interested by the frum culture more than that.
Enjoy and let me know your thoughts! :)

A 'non sexual' frummy post

I am used to posting on Craiglist when i am inspired.
The other i decided to read some posts searching 'Hasidic', 'Frum', not Jewish because there are too many posts and i don't have time.
And i found this one:

no sex - just hug and kisses - m4w 
Hi I'm a nice clean frum Jewish guy , 33 6ft 190p ,
I have brown hair green eyes ,
I'm looking for a friend , to be together , just laying together talk , kiss , smile and make love , explore each others body but no sex
I preffer Jewish women , frum a plus
Come let's talk  
 
33 years old!
First i laughed and i wanted to learn more so i replied to him: 'Do u know that to make love is sex? :)'
His reply: 'Hmm maybe ....'
More and more intrigued…
My reply: 'It's not maybe: to make love is the elegant way to say to have sex!'
Him: 'Ha-ha So what are you into?'
Me: 'Let me know what is your definition of sex please?What is 'no sex'?I am intrigued :)'
Him: 'I meant to say Sex is not a must!
I will be satisfied to start making love by just kissing and hugging and not right away going all the way' Me: '?'

The conversation stopped like that. Better than a dog bitting his tail. I was in a dead end.I am actually fascinated. I sent him an email with straightforward questions about foreplay asking if it was sex or not for him, he never replied.

And in the same time, i was talking with a Hasidic man in his 50s, who had an affair during 5 years with a Jewish woman, non Hasidic. He did everything except penetration because it was the top of the sin. She accepted this frustration. He is aware that he was frustrated too but penetration was his boundary. No comment!

Afterwards i thought of creating a dictionary about the definition of having sex written by H babies.I can fill thousands of pages…
To end, i just read an interview of what we call OTD, i love his reply to this question:
'What do you miss most about being frum? 

The self-assuredness. Having all the answers. Knowing that Hashem is smiling down on you, and everything you do has a higher purpose. Knowing that you’re one of the chosen few, and that you’re better than everyone else in the world. Living in that bubble is very comforting. It’s all baloney, but it’s very comforting.'

Hasidic woman

The other day, a Hasidic woman came where i worked to give me some flyers. She was from Crown Heights. She was wearing large and fashion sunglasses.
I felt something wrong with her. Her voice was quavering and her pinkish cheeks were swelling.
First thought was she was alcoholic. I had the need to talk more with her, sticking on my first thought.
I was realizing when i was talking to her that this woman just cried.
And she had a job to do with these flyers to give everywhere in the neighborhood.
I had two options: to be straightforward and ask her what happened or to talk to her about anything and nothing to help her to forget during few minutes the drama she is living. I was in a tricky situation. I was thinking of this woman who committed suicide recently because of the custody of her children and how her family treated her after her choice to leave the community.
To be straightforward should have been the best but in NY, to ask personal questions doesn't work. I am always surprised when people say they are friends since 15 years but know nothing about each other. What are they talking about when they meet?
I am used to asking many questions because i want to know people and not to be in a shallow friendship.
So i was caught between two stools: American or Hasidic world. Who is in the denial the most?
I chose my denial and she asked me where i was from and told me her son was in a Yeshiva in France.
I asked her if her name was on the flyer but she remains behind the wall she told me.
I might probably meet her again. I hope so and if i feel the drama remains, i will take the first option before it's too late.
Some photos of Leonard Freed below…

The star of David and swastikas sprayed on the walls of Jerusalem.1972 .
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. Jerusalem, Meashearim, Purim holiday .
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. Sefat. 1967. Middle Eastern and North African Jewish women.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

Dancing Sukkot

The aim of this Sukkot before going back to the shul, was to find a Hasidic companion to dance with.

So, i was back on Craiglist with a new post:

Hasidic dancing companion - w4m (brooklyn)

I know that you are not allowed to dance with women, but i am different and i know you could be too. So let's go and dance meshuga on Kingston Ave for Sukkot. And let's break the strict rules you live with. Let's dance for fun! I know you can do it! :)

No married men. Men between 30 and 45.

I received replies from my regular H babies 'clients'. One desperate Italian horny guy ready to please women who replies to any post. I am not sure that he knows the definition of Hasidic. Another man offered me to make him massage and he will pay me. Anyway!

That was like a fairytale looking for the Hasidic charming prince who doesn't exist, Hasidic or not.

I could sell some tickets because i started to have a line of requests.

Do you think it was easy to find someone? 

Some need glasses to read the numbers.

But the Hasidic way of life is the real life or not?

A question which always came out: 'Are you Jewish at least?'. One H baby gave me the ideal reply: 'hi

u cant be jewish u posted on yom tov'.

There are the first replies and a short emails exchange with one of them:

- I would LOVE doing it!

Are you chasidic?

- Funny post

- hi

i am frum chasidish from boro park

please lat me know when u fined some 1

lats chat please add me

- Your post caught my attention. Why do you want a Chasidic man?

- omg this is crazy......mshugana

u speak Yidddish ?

- Hi again 

How are you different?

- you so full of s*** but I don't care I love it let's do it

- I'm all for it lets go I'm a great dancer

- love too if its not too late

- Would you settle for Deal NJ?

- I am in the stated age range, and I love to close my eyes and dance like no one is watching...  :)

- chag shmach.44 israeliguy.6,1 200 athl lk,love to go dance

  

- Hi frum guy here wanna chill 

- Send a pic

- when would you like to go?

- Hi

- wow when do you sleep?

are you on facebook?

- Why only Hasidic men?

Slow dancing :))

- Hey, il dance with ya, but nt on Kingston 

- Im a single man and ready ,

- Are u still up ?? 

That's so funny 

- Good morning that's would be so nice 

Do u know how to dance lol 

- Hello 

Have you found what you where looking for ?

- Hi how.are.you.I.would. Like.to.meet you tonight. And.dance. Together. On Kingston. Ave

Short conversation:

- i would but it wont last long im 41  how old are you ?

- Why doesn't it last long?

- because theylle stop you

- who?

- the lubavichers call me i will explain

- I am waiting for them. :-)))

It was easier online but most of them have disappeared because they were scared. Some came back after the dancing days to ask if i had found someone.

If i had danced with a man, would a Lubavitcher policeman come to handcuff me? I wish i will be handcuff with some peyos.

Leonard Freed i worship you

Jerusalem.1967, A synagogue for orthodox jews in the Mea Shearim.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. 1987, Dov Patrin, an ultra-orthodox, tries to bring understanding to both sides following the demonstrations for a stricter observance of the Sabbath. © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. Jerusalem, 1972 , maker of religious objects . © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. Jerusalem. 1967. No Man's Land between Israel and Jordan, during the Six Day War.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

ISRAEL. Jerusalem. 1967. Prayer house for Jews in Mea Shearim. © Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo

Purim celebration in a Synagogue in the Mea Shearim district of Jerusalem.
© Leonard Freed/Magnum Photo