A holy story

I talked recently online with a young man from an European country.
What intrigued me is that he said that he was a convert.
So far, nothing special… But listen well: he is a Satmar, born in a non Jewish family at all.
How can that happen?
This is his story:

"I started searching by 16, and quickly saw that all other religious had no truth in them. One winter night a few months after I turned 17, I was walking through a field at night time and I prayed - I asked Hashem to show me the way to live my life in service to him. The minute I asked that, I had the word "Judaism" buzzing around my head. But, I knew nothing about Judaism! When I got home, I started searching on the computer. "What is Judaism?", "What is the Torah?", "Who are the Jews?", etc. and everything that I read - it all felt like the truth. Over the next few months I carried on researching on the computer until about May.

May, I contacted a Reform synagogue and and went to visit. I was only going there a few weeks when I saw that that form of Judaism wasn't for me. I then contacted the Beis Din in Xxxx, and they advised me to go to a certain beis medresh. I was a modern Zionist orientated place. I prayed there for a year - every Shabbos and yom tov. I sometimes even went to the shiurim.
After a year, I saw that that place also wasn't for me. It seemed more like a performance. I wanted more an emotional prayer and way of life. The Litvishe way of life also wasn't for me. Learn all day is good, but when you have no emotional connection with Hashem, what is the point?
I was advised by someone to go and daven in the Belz beis medresh. And so there I went. I davened there a year, also, but after learning about Belz, I saw that the Belz of today is different from Belz before the war. I wanted a more closed community. I tried davening in Vizhnitz, Bobov, Ger, etc. but none called to me. In the end, I tried Satmar, and there I fell in love.
In Satmar, the Rebbe isn't glorified like a god. He leads the community, and that is that. He learns the whole day with the bochurim in the yeshiva, and he controls the most successful community. In Satmar, ahavas Yisroel is an ikker. I've been in places where if you're not one of them, they don't want to help you. What is that!? In Satmar it doesn't matter if you're Hasidic, Sefardic, Modern, etc. - if you're a Jew and you need help, Satmar will help. I also like how closed off Satmar is from the outside world. It is a world I have lived in and I have seen the effects of - I don't want to be around that anymore - I also don't want that for my children, with G-d's help.
I davened in Satmar in Xxxx about 8 months before I decided to come to Jerusalem to learn in yeshiva. This was a hard time. I didn't like the yeshiva because it didn't have good learning, and then I went to another yeshiva and they kicked me out on the street because I considered myself to be Satmar. I ended up sleeping on the street a few days, but in the end, I went to the Satmar community here in Jerusalem and they provided a place for me to sleep, food, and they let me learn with them in kollel. Since then, they've supported me with everything. I learnt a majority of Yiddish in 6 months - now, I barely use English, and it's beginning to get worse. When I was in the airport on my way back from America, I had to ask someone how to say something in English when the check-in assistant was asking me questions.
Now I'm currently in Jerusalem, but I live and learn in Xxxx (a holy city in USA). I have chavrusas in kollel by day and night. I love it there. I came here to work on a student visa so hopefully soon I can go back and start a normal life."

Mea Sharim and its rules, Yerushalayim, 2004, ©emmarubinstein

I never met someone from another religion who converted to become a Satmar.
I already met a Jewish man who considered him as a Satmar, but he was a hippie Satmar: no black grab, no black hat… and also no shower.
I met a woman, Catholic who converted and became a Lubavitch. But she decided to follow her own rules. I didn't understand why she chose to be a part of Chabad if she didn't like the rules. She was cheating. Was it by interest only?

A sukka on a roof, Mea Sharim, Yerushalayim, 2004, ©emmarubinstein

I was curious to know about his connection to Hashem and how was his revelation. And that happened in a field is very important. The story of Abel and Cain was in a field. The word 'field' in Hebrew has a certain importance.
I like his determination a lot at a very young age. The teenage age is full of doubts and experiences. We ask a lot of questions about our life…
For him, it was like an obviousness. And he is still on this road! Well-done!

He found an emotional connection with the Satmar community! Glad for him after a bad experience.
How can someone let a teenager sleep in the streets? That's insane. Does the Torah allows that kind of behavior? I don't think so!

His story is like a holy fairytale: he will get married and will have a lot of children! :-)

Back from the shul, Rosh Hashannah in Williamsburg, 5775, ©emmarubinstein

Thanks to him for letting me posted his story.