meshiksa hasidic roots: June 2014

Sunday, June 29, 2014

An angel at my table

I am not going to talk about the movie by Jane Campion, despite my passion for redheads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfMh-fRSH5E

Lately things happen to me like signs of destiny. Someone is reading my thoughts, someone is taking revenge for me against people who were not nice with me…
Last Friday, end of afternoon, i had to go to see a concert of the daughter of one of my ex clients.
The ex client, D. is unreliable, a typically new yorker state of mine, i.e. saying she will come by, disappearing during weeks and months…
Last summer, i introduced her to a vegan friend of mine, living in Paris. She spent two weeks in the French capital, and she met her once. She did the same thing the second evening she had to meet up my friend, pretending she was lost in the Parisian subway!
Then, she went back to NY. She and her daughters were volunteers for a politician, next door to my work place. She never came by to say hello.
I was totally pissed off by her rudeness! I let her go finally not to waste time of thinking of that!
My big problem is that i can't pretend, i can't be hypocrite! That's not me!
I have to digest, and play a part: to be a New Yorker: to do not care about anything and anyone!
I prefer to avoid people because i can't live in this shallowness.

I was in the subway, and if you are not New Yorker, you have to know that: you always know at what time you leave your place, but you will never know at what time you will arrive.
MTA sucks a lot!
And people remain passive! I do complain and sigh a lot!
In Paris: strike! And RATP (French MTA) refunds your money!
I spent the end of afternoon in this horrible subway, and decided to give up because i was terribly late and i had missed the concert after 2 hours in this underground.
Later, D. told me that a young man that i knew, V., was at the concert.
He is one of the last persons that i wanted to see. So rude too! He said to D. that he was looking forward to seeing me! Kidding? Short memory apparently!

I went back home, and i was happy to hear the Shabbos siren. It relaxed me!
I had already bought my challah and covered it with love.

This morning, i received a Facebook request from a Hasidic woman that i didn't know! I checked her profile, and sent her a message. We don't have friends in common, and i don't accept everyone on FB. That's personal, and i don't need 2,000 friends in my life. Everyone does what he wants but i don't share my personal infos with the world.
I re-checked her profile and see what she is doing. I can't tell her name because she is famous in the community, working in the Hasidic creative field. And i had already met someone who she is working with at my work place last year. Coincidence? :-)
She sent me a request following a post that i liked on one of her friends' wall.
It was last February, and i don't remember the post and the name she gave me.
I don't know if Paris clicked her mind too, because she speaks French.
She invited me to come over for Shabbos. Yippee!
I told her a few things about my personal story, she wants to know more about me, and in French.
I am very excited to be at her table for my first Shabbos meal in a Lubaba family next Friday.
Not as an angel, but she is an angel sent by someone living above my head.

And Albert Einstein talked to me this morning:
"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."
I starts to be more comfortable when i associate G-d to my life now.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing."

Albert, if you are alive somewhere, except NY, and single, would you like to marry me?

Ostrowiec, Poland. Turn of the Century. A 'modernized' Jewish kapelye
("band of musician") This band was at that time famous all over Poland
©All rights reserved

Friday, June 27, 2014

13th avenue, Boro(ugh) Park

A friend woke me up for an early and spontaneous breakfast around our places. I got up asap from my bed… The world belongs to people who wake up early, right?

I wanted to meet her up because she is a deep believer. She is Christian.
Once her girlfriend left, we talked about my Boro Park wandering scheduled for this day.
She knows my fascination for the Hasidic community, and also my issue with the existence of G-d.
Each time, she talked about her faith, i am stunned.
Once she was in the subway, and she was the witness of a violent scene. Her answer was: "I pray."
Why does she leave this planet, when i stay aware that if i have to do something to help people in danger, i will make a move?
Two years ago, i was the witness of a berserk woman who yelled at 4 Hasidic teenagers in the subway. Her verbal violence gave me cold sweats, but in this kind of case, i remained quiet. They handled the situation very well, and moved in another car finally.

In the same time, the way she expressed 'I pray' is more impressive for me than the words she said.
She does feel G-d!
She is a tomboy, but her voice and compassion for people is very beautiful and soft.
We used to have long conversations in my work place about everything. She corrected my English.
I told her that i had a recent revelation about G-d: i understand who He/She is. She saw G-d as a woman with long hair…
I see Him/her as a huge strength…

She said: "You changed your mind?"
It's not a question of changing my mind, it was a question of meaning.
I never have been against religions: if they exist in this world, that means something, but i always asked why, without having the good answers.
I recommended her the book of Jonathan Sacks, she wants to read it.
I told her: "Now, i want to feel G-d."
Despite all the comments i have received so far, this feeling is totally personal, and that's my road.
I never prayed. I often begged when some sort of things happened to me: "Why me?".

One of my fantasies is to be in the arms of a Hasidic man when he is praying to see if i feel something. :-)

Then, 13th ave.
I already have been there twice: first time to meet my Hasidic female friend for the first time, and second time at night, for a Seder about one year ago.
I only had a sneak peak, nothing particular, but i loved the landscape of little houses full of peyos boys.

Let's streetview on Google Map, to see if i start my stroll from 36th street. I saw some peyos.

First impressions compares to Willy: they are not in a hurry, they are more 'friendly' (i.e. less scared of talking to a non Hasidic person). I thought it will be the contrary because there are less 'tourists' in BP than in Willy.
The ladies didn't really look at me.
Most of the men didn't try to avoid me in the stores or the streets.
Did they feel the beginning of my Orthodoxy? :-)

The choice of a dress, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Regarding the peyos: they are finer and messed up in BP.
Come on guys, you know how i like them, so please, make an endeavor next week! :-)

The feminine fashion is more modern. I saw a woman in a beautiful red dress with a modern shape.
The skirts are not all under the knees and i could see some fancy skirts, and dresses.

The first store that attracted my attention was the Judaica Corner store: lots of books and Jewish stuffs.
I bought books for children and my new Bed toys: Totty Mentchees Go to Shul.
Watch out! I said Bed toys, not sex toys! :-)
I fell in love with this store and another big one later. There are my GQ.
All these beautiful books that i wanted to touch and smell, but i did nothing.
When i gave the money, they took it from my hand.

Judaica Corner, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Cutie Bed Toys, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I forgot many times that they were religious.

On the sidewalk, a woman lost a pair of socks. A man with a stroller and 3 children saw it, and he was embarrassed to call the lady to pick them up. Another woman saw the scene and helped the man to resolve the issue.

It was the first time that i met a Hasidic homeless, and i felt sad. Maybe, he is just a foolish man. I don't know. He was losing his shoes, too big for him.

The other store, i absolutely wanted to go was the music store. A salesman from a Willy bookstore recommended me a long time ago. I already checked on their website, and i bought an album of old Yiddish songs online.
But yesterday i wanted this song, the song that moves me a lot.
It took me time to find the text of a H man with the title on my cellphone. Once i got it, i asked but the salesman told me to come back 50 minutes later, there will be someone else, able to help me better.

An obsession of black hats? YES, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Ladies you rock, i like them, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Silverware and flowers, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I wanted to explore a food place, and tasted something new. I forgot the name of the café.
I chose a Mexican Kosher Italo calzon with mushroom and cheese: it was small in size but rich in oil.
I ate for 3 days. :-)
I had two options: find a hasidic bed to have a nap, or to lay on a bench and dry like una sardina.
I wandered to the café Shalva where i met the Hasidic woman the first time. I killed my stomach with a Smoothies without milk. It was good and unsweetened.
There was a little girl, a new friend of mine of 2 years old. She was into me and called me ladybug and poppy. Her mother was very kind and smiling. I explained her that she probably called me like that because i was dressed up in black and red.

Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Mexican Kosher Italo calzon, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Ladies lunch, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Wash your hands! Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

On my way back to the music store, i spent time in the other Judaica store.
They have a good selection of books. They are the Jewish Barnes & Noble. I saw the book of Jonathan Sacks. I was not lost.
They have a big selection, in English, of books about the Holocaust.
I deeply dislike the silverware that i have seen here and around. It's too over-ornate. :-)
I like simple and tiny things.

Judaica Store, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Reading or davening, or both in the same time? Judaica Store, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Which one is mine? Judaica Store, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Back in the music store, i asked the new salesman if his name was ***.
A few minutes before coming back to the store, my phone died, no more battery.
But there is a reason for everything and, i had a graceful moment with this man.
He is in his fifties, and he is the specialist of Yiddish music.
I told him a vague title, and the only word whose i remembered for sure, was Hashem.
He sang something. I didn't recognize the song, and i was laughing as hell.
He said: "Sing it".
"Me, no, i can't sing. Do you have Internet? We can find videos on Youtube. It's the song the Satmar sing when the rabbi arrives in the room. It's in November when they celebrate Yoel Teitelbaum in Williamsburg."
He asked me for waiting, helping other clients.
Then, back to the countertop, banging on his keyboard: "How do you spell Youtube?"
Kidding? :-)
I had to spell it twice, and finally he asked me to bang on his keyboard. My dyslexia didn't help me with the name of the place where they celebrate this event. He asked a woman: "Brooklyn Armory".
I could not find the video on Youtube.
He asked me for waiting and came back with another salesman. He tried to sing different songs.
"Wishing they are some Satmar who will come by!".
Two young men came in.
"Are you Satmar?"
"Nien"
This salesman was awesome. He had sparkling eyes, and if we had been alone, he would have been more troublemaker.
I never have been the last one to make trouble. Ask my mom! :-)
I have been punished many times in the schools by not following the crowd.
I asked him for his email to send him the title and also the link of the video. His first thought was that i was asking for his personal email. Why not? I will be pleased to have a drink with him!
If we are alone, i will ask him! Not even scared! :-)

Street writer, right side, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Street writer, left side, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Real rose, Boro Park, 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Isidor Kaufmann

His paintings caused me to cry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isidor_Kaufmann
He was born in 1853 and died in 1921. He is a painter of Jewish themes, and he painted Hasidic theme a lot.

I would love to curate him and, organize an exhibition in the Grand-Palais in Paris. :-)
http://www.grandpalais.fr/visite/en/

Unfortunately, too much light in this place for his precious paintings, and i don't have the money to curate it. :-(
But, let me dream…
He is Jewish, but they don't say if he was Hasidic.
If he was Hasidic, he would be from the Satmar sect or another one. His parents were Hungarian.

My favorites are by order in the post below.
Look at the details of the some of them.
"Child With Lulav", "Portrait of a Boy" look like a photo.
He has shadows under his eyes.
I love how he put his hand on his heart. The silver/gold color of his tallit is amazing.
He is wearing a shtreimel, is he already married? He seems young to be married. :-)

"Man With Fur Hat" has beautiful eyes.
The rendering is so realistic. We can see the same faces in the streets of Brooklyn: fleshy lips, ginger beard, black garb… He has a beautiful face. He seems so serene, Hashem is hidden in his fur hat!
Nothing has changed!

At first, i thought that he only painted men, and i found paintings with women. The Hasidic fashion for women is very different from what we can see these days.
They dress up old fashioned, but that's modern finally when we have a look at these paintings.
The women that he painted come from wealthy family, and he dressed them up for the painting.

I am totally fascinated by these faces, these looks.
The men with peyos have more hair than the ones, so i repeat it once again: let your hair grow, Jewish
people you have beautiful hair.

I don't have the dates for all these paintings, so i don't know if the colors are not boosted on some of them because of the scans or if they belong to the times of his first paintings.

If, by any chance, you know someone who has one of his paintings, invite me to have a look at it! :-)

I will take a plane if you live far away from me.

I am in transit.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Oye Oye

The Moshiach is close to us, He is on His way…
A man said that after the projection of the movie about The Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, and it was not a joke. :-)
Who was this man? Someone can tell me who was this man please? Thanks!
Is he the new Lubavitch Rebbe?
http://collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=30792&alias=sunday-what-you-need-to-know

I think that it's time to start to pack, He should come next Shabbos.
He added that we have to think of Him all the time.
He said something that i liked a lot: why do you keep on doing something that we don't like anymore? Life is short indeed!
Why the Moshiach will be a Him? If He was a She? All my heart is with the Moshiach, so much work to do… I can help but i don't want his/her job!
His speech was more anchored in real life than in religious life.
He was firm and clear that Moshiach is a deep part of the current life, for religious Jews or not and he sent a call to secular people to rejoin them.

5,000 people were expected, and i was one of them. I arrived early, forgetting that Jews are always late. :-)
I have the choice to sit where i wanted. I decided to be close to the men section to feel a mixed ambiance. I moved finally because i am short-sighted, and the screen was too far from my view.
I was not really immodest, wearing sandals with heels, no tights, a black dress, and a 3/4 sleeves green tee-shirt without a deep cleavage. :-)
Women didn't really pay attention to me, they were there for the Rebbe. :-)
Finally, it was chilly! Fresh air is good for… :-)

I enjoy the music that you can listen to the introduction of the movie i made.
Someone can tell me who sings (a child?) please? Thanks again.

It starts with the 12 Pesukim said by more or less bashful children, and everyone repeating what they said. I did too. :-)

Then, the movie, with songs in the shul and speeches by The Rebbe. There are probably many speeches by this holy man, but they chose some where he was coughing and felt sick whose one of them gave a long time of silence. My attention was not disturbed by the children playing, falling, crying.
I was totally captivated by this documentary.
I added to my list the reading of the biography of Rabbi Moses ben Maimon. Born in Spain, and with the appellation 'ben', he is a Sephardi. Born in Cordoba which is one of my favorite cities in Spain.
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/75991/jewish/Maimonides-His-Life-and-Works.htm
The Rebbe made many references to Maimonides.

I enjoy going to bed every night with something new that i learnt during the day!
Feed me with your knowledge, my dreams will be Jewish-er! :-)

I bought the biography of The Rebbe by Chaim Miller. I received it last Saturday, and it sounds very interesting and, well-documented. That will be for my Parisian environment where i will need to create a Hasidic mood after losing the one where i live here. :-(

Then, the speech of the man who announced the imminent arrival of Moshiach.

After all these speeches, songs, emotions, prayers, i needed to take a bath of men. :-)
I was giddy and scatterbrained, strolling amongst them. I dived in their section, avoiding their looks. And in front of 770, men were praying. I stopped, watching at them, and filming them a very short time. I felt so well amongst the black and white devotion. I could not move. I felt their looks at me. I felt like a giant, dominating them. I was their big sister watching them. :-)
Everything was quiet, it was chilly, and they warmed me up figuratively. :-)
I walked around for a while, breathing their holy words!