A funny electronic romance

There are some men who replied to all posts in CL, wishing that a good neshama will reply.

You can reply anything, they will be pleased, and so pleased that they will give you so much power.

You will be everything for them, you will change their life.

Another thing i noticed is that men have a real mid-age crisis. Usually it's in their forties but the num ber has changed.

It's not only to be Hasidic but if you are on of them, the level of crisis is very high. Hasidim don't like that you abandon them. I don't know if the main reason is that it's not easy to attract the attention of outsiders. How many time i saw disgusted expressions on the face of outsiders.

I can hear in their 'LOL' something desperate, that's very sad.

Today, it's a conversation i had with one in his fifties. He was ready to accept everything with me. We never met. I will call him M.

He replied to a foolish poem i wrote without Hasidic allusion.

I don't post the poem but his first reply: 'Let's take the same road !

If you indeed want to take the same road , please reply and we will disclose about ourselves as much as we are ready to disclose on first contact and on the internet. We could never imagine what can come our from a casual posting on the internet. If it is meant to be.........

Hope to hear from you soon. M.'

When i read his name, i asked him if he was Hasidic. This is what he said: 'Yes I may be chasidic but I am a professional and very neatly kept.'

And one email later: 'Open minded is exactly what I write. I would not disappoint you without giving you whatever you either want or expect from a man. Of course I will honor your morals with whatever you don't want. 

I am from boro park and not chabad even though I have been to crown heights several times. 

I go dressed in regular chasidic clothing however very neat. Peyos are hidden and tzizis under my shirt and hidden.  Try me out. I will try my hardest not to disappoint you. I really will. I am sincere and straight forward. Thanks.' 

So maybe or not Hasidic? :-)

I haven't introduced myself yet that he was sowing me his expectations: 'I do not mean hide as hiding. I like to go dressed very neatly. 

Goyta ?? You happen to be a human being. It will be both an honor and privilege to be your friend/love.' 

If you don't reply fast, the paranoia appears: 'I should of understood you are most probably busy at work. I will appreciate and enjoy receiving your response this afternoon. 

Thanks. 

No response from you ???'

You have to explain that you have a life, you could be busy… to calm them down.

And once again: 'You are a sweetheart ! I realized that you must be working. But if you are so busy will you have time for a friendship/lover ? After all I still want toi hug and kiss you in the street once we are lovers !!! LOL. LOL. LOL. 

You are the best.'

I was back in his heart. :-)

According to my French education, i have trouble seeing people familiar with me fast. Anyway!

It gave him strength: 'To me you will always be the best. If not I have no right nor business trying to pursue the goal of being your lover and maybe more. 

Sweetheart, (I don't know your first name) would you feel comfortable speaking by phone or is it too early for that ?'

What is more than to be lover? Wife? :-)

And bang bang, a fireworks of sweet words: 'Dearest Emma,

I put a lot of hope on our future relationship because we were both hurt and both of us felt what rejection felt like. We both yearn for true love and not love for once or twice. Love that grows each time and time more and more.' 

So just right now, i imagined myself in a Kosher supermarket pushing the tray, with no wig, shorter dress with short sleeves, cleavage, sandals… and with him, peyos, tzitzit… :-)

And i didn't talk about me, not yet.

The day after, a short email: 'Emma dear, just thinking of you.'

I asked him for a photo, he didn't say no but asked me for waiting for a nice picture of him.

Next day: 'It feels so good to start the day knowing I have a girlfriend to write to. Thank you so much for being there. You are a real sweetheart if I may say so.'

Nothing happened during the night, i swear. :-)

And Friday arrives, he was disturbed not to talk to me during one day.

'I think of you a lot I just don't want to bother you a whole. 

Like you loads

A Gitten shabbos !'

I asked to many Hasidim if they fall in love with a shiksa, will they accept her as she is. By email, they agreed. To get married with her, she will have to get converted. The shiksa has to sacrifice her non beliefs.

'You don't have to adapt to my group. You are entitled to your beliefs and me to mine. That doesn't mean we can't love each other. We love each other and not our religions or lack of religions.' 

Can they be spontaneous with all these strict rules? In USA, lots of products are Kosher, that's not the same in Europe. 'Boy can I be spontaneous. Oh my. I am very liberal in my restrictions.'

Before turning off his phone: 'Of course Sweetheart. Just little by little I am starting to like you. Your nice. You are sweet, exciting. I feel so comfortable and at ease corresponding with you.'

After Shabbos, he sent me an email to have some news and disappeared during three days. When he was back, he was in Israel for Holy Days.

He sent me two pictures of Jerusalem and 'Dear Emma,

Sorry for the break in the emails. Traveled to Israel. Had problem with blackberry. Just fixed now. Presently in Jerusalem. I hope you are still available. LOL.' 

'And I love you. LOL' 

I didn't reply about my availability and didn't need to do it because 'You know that I do like you a lot just from writing. Feelings grow with absence. How about coming over. Let the first time we MAKE LOVE be here !!!

LOL. LOL. LOL.'

He never saw a photo of me, never talked on the phone but 'As long as you didn't reject it out right I still stand a chance to indeed make love with you. Emma, in all honesty and sincerity, how I wish. I think we would be happy together.', he read my soul. :-)

His feelings have multiplied…

I asked him for sending me a photo of the seven hills. His reply: 'What are the seven hills ?'.

Should i give up? No, i explained him what they were. And i got my photo. :-)

And we talked about religion. That was not easy for him to understand that you could be born atheist without having a religion before. That's not the same if you were born Jewish and decide to become an Atheist, you will remain Jewish as it said in the Torah. The OTD i met have still something very strong with their jewishness. That's their issue, i have enough with mine. :-)

And i like his last reply: 'Are you happy I am Jewish. If we were to fall in love with each other would it make you feel good being in love with a jewish man. Please be candid with your answer.'

And i had to get back to Paris. He was worried that i had no connection there. 

And finally he disappeared definitely.

When i got back, i was looking for a room for rent and i posted on CL that i was looking for a room in a Hasidic family.

And M. was back: 'Hi. I am a chasidic man. May I offer you to move in with me ?  You would make my dream come true. I wish. Waiting and hoping for your positive reply.'

I didn't reply to him and to other posts on CL, except one.

But first, his replies to the other posts:

- 'Hi. Love you too', he doesn't know that it's me.

- 'I am right here. I kiss with intensity , tongues out and rubbing/licking. I pride myself at being an excellent kisser.' Modesty once again! :-)

- 'Please, a little bit respect. I did not appreciate the beard comment. I can understand that maybe you are turned on by chasidic men. To each one their distinct taste. However please , don't make fun. Make love not fun. However you may have fun while making love. Enjoy your day.'

I replied to this last one shortly and he recognized my email address, so 'Dear Emma. This is you. I remember this email address. After I came back from Israel I totally lost contact with you. Maybe we can call each other on the phone. I so enjoyed corresponding with you and I really truly thought we would have a friendship/relationship. Waiting to hear from you sweetheart.'

And because i decided not to reply to him anymore, he sent me a last email: 'Dear Emma,

What did I do wrong that you dumped me ?'

LOL LOL LOL.