Meeting a rabbi

That's not the first time i met a rabbi who doesn't hide he is a rabbi! :-)
I already met a Hasidic rabbi who is such a fiend. I am not able to understand why he is still a rabbi to behave so badly with gentiles, women… I cut him out of my life. I am not sure he will understand one day what he has done to me. People don't change, a jerk remains a jerk for ever…
I didn't believe in his poor little apologies either… He hurt me deliberately. Was it a holy game?

What is it for me a good rabbi? I don't expect a perfect or irreproachable person, but the rabbi is supposed to show the good example for a community of people who refer to him. Even if he doesn't have a congregation, he doesn't have the right to hurt gentiles because D-g will forgive him because they are not Jewish so we, gentiles, are not people to be taken seriously. But we have a heart, and an emotional intelligence too. The rabbi is a sort of religious therapist who can help you to understand who you are without doing the work you have to do on yourself. He doesn't have to be judgmental and think he is always right! The other rabbi i was in touch online with, stalked me during 8 months.

The rabbi i met last Saturday was recommended by G. I contacted him to have more information for a conversion, reform or conservative. He offered me to grab a slice of pizza on a Shabbos day! I already met rabbis who use their phone, spend money on a Saturday! But i was surprised, i don't know why! I have been 'endoctrined' by the Hasidim since two years and i may ask questions sometimes if it's Jewish to do that or not. I am confused all the times if it could be a Jewish rules or a Hasidic rules.
So let's go for a pizza conversion!

I met him first at his congregation, and as a good Jew he was late. :-)
I had time to see what kind of people who come here: family and people from any age without peyos, no hirsute faces… I can survive without being surrounded by hair. Yes, i can make it!

I felt comfortable and realized that it was a long time i was disconnected to 'normal' people. I don't say that Hasidim are not normal but they are disconnected from a secular reality. Their adaptation to the secular world is almost impossible. I felt in some of them a sort of bitterness due to their many frustrations. That's one of the reasons they often attacked me with their harsh words.
I met gentiles everyday at work, and i am aware that i was very involved with the Hasidic community since 2 years. I am still involved but my look at them is different and more cautious.

I talked about them to the rabbi without saying my dirty secrets. :-)
He said to me: "Don't argue with them about your conservative or reform conversion. They will tell you you are doing it in a wrong way…"
That made me laugh. I am used to arguing with them, and that's not their business. I don't let anyone to choose my life for me. I am an existentialist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism
I am responsible of the choices of my life: success or failure, i am on earth to learn from culture, individual as human beings…
Kierkegaard said: "Each individual - not society or religion - is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely ("authentically")."
You can read this book by Jean-Paul Sartre, Existentialism is a Humanism (1949).

The three things i have to know about a conservative conversion:
- to answer question at the Beth Din with 3 rabbis, and he will be one of them
- to go to a mikvah
- to follow classes about Judaism and to live like a Jew, respecting holy days, Shabbos…

The first one, i can make it. It won't be easy. It will depend on the questions they will ask. They will decide if i can become a Jew at 100%. Bye bye 50%, that's too hard for me to live it.
The mikvah is the delicate point for me. I asked a Hasidic about that. My fear is the cleanness of the water. It's supposed to be pure but at the end of the day it's full of bacterias. I can choose the temperature of the bath apparently. I will go for a cold one to have goosebumps on my tushas.
I asked a Jewish woman if the rabbi will be there because i don't want to show him my naked body. No way! She said there will be only women! I have to catch more information.
The last point will be great. I enjoy learning and reading in a funny way. I need to make Jewish things clear in my mind absorbed by too much Hasidism. :-)

Naively, i thought that if you are a rabbi of any sect, you have to eat Kosher. He doesn't eat pork, shrimps…, he doesn't mix meat and dairy, but for the rest he can eat what he wants. He doesn't keep Shabbos. He works a lot on Saturday, uses his phone…
He told me is that it doesn't matter if i believe in D-G or not. Did he read my soul? Someone told him about my doubts of a religious creation of the world? I will ask G.
I remained quiet!
We were on the same boat. Judaism is more than a religion, it's a philosophy. In his mouth, it was an existentialist philosophy! :-)

So, let's go for the next step! Stay tuned! :-)

Some photos by Robert Doisneau, a famous photographer. Known by his kiss at the Paris City Hall below. I chose to post photos during the occupation of France.

Le Baiser de l'hôtel de ville, Paris 1950 ©Robert Doisneau

File d'attente dans Paris occupé* (*line for food), ©Robert Doisneau

Montrouge, 1939-1945, (*no more bread, it misses flour and gas), ©Robert Doisneau

paris sous l'occupation (*'display package') 1942, ©Robert Doisneau