I took my favorite bus B44 and stopped down Bedford Ave.
I didn't remember where it was exactly so i walked on Bedford. I recognized the sukkah and followed women. I felt the glances at me and i think this time it was because i didn't wear the white scarf on my head. Oups!
The looks were less insistent than last year. A few men stared at me, they dared! I enjoyed that.
Children and their mothers understood that i was a sort of alien.
They didn't ask me questions when i went upstairs.
I went at the same place than last year to see if i recognized the woman i met last year.
She was there with all her grand-children and said hello.
I admitted i took a few pictures.
I stayed to watch men dancing and singing with the Torah. And i decided to watch from another point of view.
A woman called me to jump on her bench. The view was perfect and better.
'Where are you from?' she said.
She knows two French Pupa families and wished she will see them tonight. I don't know how old she was, already mother of 11 children and with the will of Dog she will have more.
And we started a conversation and i had to lie all the time. That bothered me a lot to do that.
Her intonation was that the answers were in the questions:
'Where do you live?': 'Crown Heights'
'Did you come by foot?': 'Yes'
'Are you Jewish?': 'Yes'
I asked her if I could take photos. 'The best photos are in our mind, aren't they?'. 'Yes'
'You are Jewish and you don't break your Shabbos?': 'Yes and no'.
'Is your husband dancing with the Torah?': 'No, i am not married.'
'You need to find the good partner.' Did i really hear what she said. Since when the H babies talk about a good partner? Especially with arranged marriages. Dog manages their life, chooses their husbands/wives… is she talking about love?
It was not the time and the moment to talk about love between human beings, i felt so much devotion around me. When the men were singing she moved her lips following a small book. I asked her if what she was following was what the men were singing: 'Yes.'
What i heard as songs were 'la la la la la la…'but i didn't recognize Hebrew or Yiddish. I could see the men over the mechitza, hé hé ! Many children do it too but i don't know what can happen if a narrow-minded H baby had seen me! Scandal? oh la la!
When i heard the man calling the next dancers, i wondered how they know which one they called. Many of them have the same first and last name.
A man was dancing with his two little boys in his arms like the two rolls of the Torah. That was cute!
I talked to the woman about my dream of sharing a Shabbos meal with a strict family. She asked me why. I did tell her the truth for once that night. 'Take the Williamsburg white pages and call people and ask them'. 'Really?'. 'You will find someone who will be happy to welcome you.' U.n.b.e.l.i.e.v.a.b.l.e!
I don't know if it was one of her fantasies but they are so scared of outsiders so a phone call from an unknown Frenchichi is not going to reassure them. 'How many families should i have to call? You are so many.'
'Indeed'.
They were very dressed up, smelling good. They can't use hot water since Wednesday evening to Saturday night, so i asked the French H baby how they do. They sweat when they dance and they didn't smell bad. They shower with cold water. Booooooh!
I left because they were too many children screaming and women gossiping with joy. And i wanted to go to a Satmar shul on Lee Avenue. I say Satmar but i am not sure about that.
The woman said: 'See you next year. Do you have someone who will pick you up?'. Another lie 'Yes'.
There were less people in the streets and i felt the same looks towards me. I am fine with that now. I just would like subtitles to understand their mind.
In a building, on the first floor, i heard men singing and a group of women watching them through the window. I felt deeply in Poland during last century.
I tried to come in the Satmar shul but i didn't find the entry and i didn't want to ask. I gave up and my bus was on its way.
Three non hasidic guys came in later in the bus, and i realized that i was back in a sort of reality.
And in the same time, i was wondering if the H babies would be right. :-)
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