Breathless

We are speechless, nauseous…
We can't breath…

Unity is the strength but we are alone with our fear…

I needed my Torah-peutic class yesterday because my teacher will find the words to calm us down…

Unity rally, #shalom #salam, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Unity rally #JeSuisCharlie, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I was with friends at the unity rally on Sunday. We have never seen place de la République, stopped by too many people. We remained there nearly 3 hours on-the-spot, and that was a moment of grace. The network was, most of the time, shut down. Probably to avoid the trigger of a bomb with a phone call.

Unity rally, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein 

Unity rally, graffiti #JeSuisCharlie in the background, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Before getting back home, i went to the Kosher Supermarket, alone. I was invited to the ceremony with Bibi, but i preferred to be with the people than the VIP.

Unity rally: we keep on eating, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Unity rally, mini-Charlie January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Just when i arrived, besides the Jewish gathering, i saw the CRS (policemen) who avoided a big fight. I saw an umbrella thrown under a car.
I had cold sweats and an instantaneous pain in my belly. The tension was high but the policemen put out the fire in a few seconds.

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, the look of shalom, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I ran away and joined all the jews gathering. Apparently, that was something organized, and i didn't know. Many Jewish associations was there to sing, and daven.

There is a new area in the Jewish world, maybe in the European Jewish world: we refuse to be martyrs anymore. We remain victims with a fist in the sky.
That was the main subject of the speech of that gathering. We are ready to take up arms and defend ourselves if necessary.

Jewish unity gathering #JeSuisJuif with pencils, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

During that Torah class, we talked about the generations of Noah. That was a class of geography. We are all brothers (the 70 nations coming from Shem, Ham and Japheth). We drew the map, and you look at it, you see that we are killing each other, between brothers. The gene of Cain is still in our veins.
It was the end of the class, and you could feel that terrible sad feeling and the question "why?".
We know that part of history but to visualize the drawing of a map of the Middle-East slapped your face once again. You understand that the problem is not the religion.
The teacher thought that education is the best weapon. I agree totally.

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, fake fur and Israeli flag, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

This man was saying that the Jews aren't going to hide like during the WWII.
Behind him the kosher supermarket with the 3 letters broken.
We keep on standing up. The war is declared,
January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I read the international press. I was upset by the writings of some people, Jew or not.
That's a indecent egocentrism! A little respect for those who died please.
Don't blame us, but support us!
For example, that's very difficult for Americans to understand that we are not used to live with weapons of war around us. That's unconstitutional.
They didn't understand that we closed some synagogues. Mine was one of them. Our system of security is efficient but not so efficient than in other countries. We protect the privacy of people by not putting cameras everywhere.

Thanks to all the people who sent me kind and warm words. Surprising words from people i barely know, i have never met, or i will meet in Israel very soon.
Next week, i am on the soil of the Holy Land for a total immersion of my lost neshama.

The wife of the rabbi asked me for writing a text about a parashat. I never did that. She is very efficient to convince you by her kindness and her availability to help you with Hebrew. I said yes very fast. Good exercise for me, and the Holy Land will probably inspire me.

We are ready to kick the tushes of terrorists but our fear is deep. But we know that we won't let them invade us and kill us like a piece of meat. We are waiting for them with a deaf fear.

A rabbi from our crowd came for davening.

The new cover of Charlie Hebdo is a new funny provocation: a drawing of the prophet with an image of a penis! Google it! For this week, they chose the color green. 3 millions of the newspapers will be printed.