Glad to be back to my roots and not to feel prisoner anymore of a country where i don't want to get back.
I can handle Kosher meals. I can read my Chumash.
My mom knows that it's forbidden to put something on it!
My Jewish cat is totally fine: she has changed, she became more social with the atheist cat till to steal her food and the cat grass. She is becoming a bad Jew by not respecting some Commandments. :-)
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| Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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| Master and disciples, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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| White stockings and shtreimel shadows, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
I am doing less Jewish things because i don't live in a Jewish area where i can go to a shul at any time.
Most of the shuls are closed, because of the fear of an attack. I called a few and nobody picked up the calls.
I feel guilt and i think of Him. I have the will of doing what i am supposed to do, but i can't force the doors.
I had a look at the photos of the meshuga dances on Kingston Ave. I don't have the desire to be with them, not because of them, but because i don't want to live in USA.
I showed a video of the dances to my mom, and i explained her what it was. She was a great dancer and won competitions when she was young.
She said that if she was young, she would be dancing there. When i explained her that only men dance, and not with women, she looked at me stunned.
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| Funny Yiddish conversation, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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| Women with their white tichel look like nuns, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
I thought that the bad news was behind me! But no!
A French friend of mine who was living in Brooklyn passed away in August 2013. He was 40 years old.
I saw him 3 days before he was in a coma. Two months later, he died in Paris.
I didn't have news from him since one year and half. I texted him, emailed him: no replies.
I googled his name because he was not Hasidic, to disappear like them.
I found out that he might be back in France, and he wanted to cut people out of his life.
I was on shock after this bad news, and i couldn't sleep all night.
I thought of Him to help me to accept his tragic destiny.
I think of death differently, and if people have to leave this earth, it's for a reason that He decided.
I think positively of the death of people now. Maybe if they have to live longer on this earth, they will know a life of tragedies. Hashem decided to save their 'life'. Maybe this friend has found serenity upstate cloud.
Maybe He gave him a favor.
I had the intuition that i will bump into this friend in Paris one day. I didn't imagine that it would be in a cemetery. I will meet up his sister soon, but i don't have the strength to go to his grave, not yet.
I am living like Parisians but i am following the Orthodox holidays. I have things to do, but i am in a Jewish procrastination: i can't do them because it's Sukkot.
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| Men in black, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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| He hates me but i love him, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
I need to know where i can start my conversion seriously, except if i have Jewish roots from my mother lineage. But i feel that i need to follow Torah classes.
I am still in the process to find a shul where i feel comfortable.
I am fascinated by a new community that i can meet up in Israel: Toldos Aharon. They wear amazing clothes. Watch out guys!
Tomorrow, i am going back in Le Marais, to feel the Jewishness.
If i see Hasidic families, i will talk to them.
I have been yesterday, meeting friends from my childhood that i haven't seen since i was 16. They chose Le Marais for the meeting. They were late, and i was early because i was confused with the time. I saw a lady with a sheitel. Her husband didn't wear the black grab. I had the impression that they hid their Jewishness. They were relaxed, but not like in NY.
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| Too much sun, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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| Flowery shtreimel, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
I had a dinner with a Sephardi friend. We talked about religion. She has friends at the shul: the woman is Jewish. She married a Catholic and she had a son. Now she is married with a Muslim and she has two daughters. The little girls go to a Torah study on Sunday morning. The father teaches the Koran. They will choose later their religion.
I thought that it will be great to have religion classes in elementary school: history of religions, then Torah, New Testament and Koran to start.
We know that religion is a pretext to justify the wars. Religion doesn't control the world, but money.
The purpose of these classes is not to choose a religion but to show that the holy books don't encourage wars, hatred of your neighbors…
I had an argument with a man yesterday in his art gallery. He was introduced to me by my two childhood friends. He thought that my project in Israel is useless. For him, if Israel and the Occupied Territories remain in that situation, nothing will change.
I told him what i already said on this blog: Israel, Gaza, the West Bank and all the Muslim countries have a huge work of introspection to do.
I am not going to change the world, and to stop the wars, but if i and other people, we can save a few kids by letting them know that they can do something great with their life, that will be a good start.
There will always be conflicts, human beings are made of that apparently.
I stopped the conversation with him, because i can't hear negative thoughts. There are no lost causes.
The only thing that i agreed with him was about the money that USA promised to give to Gaza. Who can believe that honestly? USA has no money. They should think of giving money to Irak and Afghanistan for all the collateral damages of the thousands deaths of civilians. Then, we will be able to talk about who is perpetrating crimes against humanity.
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| Two peyos buddies or brothers, Rosh Hashanah 5775, Williamsburg, ©emmarubinstein |
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