I … therefore i am

This photo that i took in the subway inspired me today.
This slogan can come in various ways.

I draw therefore i am, says the sign on the photo.

I am Noav therefore i am
I am Ahmed therefore i am
etc…

The certitude of the existence of the subjectivity.
Can we say: "I am (think like) a terrorist, therefore i am not"?
Two methods to find the answer:
- the doubt
- the malin génie (evil genius).

French lovers, Parisian subway, January 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Breathless

We are speechless, nauseous…
We can't breath…

Unity is the strength but we are alone with our fear…

I needed my Torah-peutic class yesterday because my teacher will find the words to calm us down…

Unity rally, #shalom #salam, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Unity rally #JeSuisCharlie, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I was with friends at the unity rally on Sunday. We have never seen place de la République, stopped by too many people. We remained there nearly 3 hours on-the-spot, and that was a moment of grace. The network was, most of the time, shut down. Probably to avoid the trigger of a bomb with a phone call.

Unity rally, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein 

Unity rally, graffiti #JeSuisCharlie in the background, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Before getting back home, i went to the Kosher Supermarket, alone. I was invited to the ceremony with Bibi, but i preferred to be with the people than the VIP.

Unity rally: we keep on eating, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Unity rally, mini-Charlie January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Just when i arrived, besides the Jewish gathering, i saw the CRS (policemen) who avoided a big fight. I saw an umbrella thrown under a car.
I had cold sweats and an instantaneous pain in my belly. The tension was high but the policemen put out the fire in a few seconds.

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, the look of shalom, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I ran away and joined all the jews gathering. Apparently, that was something organized, and i didn't know. Many Jewish associations was there to sing, and daven.

There is a new area in the Jewish world, maybe in the European Jewish world: we refuse to be martyrs anymore. We remain victims with a fist in the sky.
That was the main subject of the speech of that gathering. We are ready to take up arms and defend ourselves if necessary.

Jewish unity gathering #JeSuisJuif with pencils, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

During that Torah class, we talked about the generations of Noah. That was a class of geography. We are all brothers (the 70 nations coming from Shem, Ham and Japheth). We drew the map, and you look at it, you see that we are killing each other, between brothers. The gene of Cain is still in our veins.
It was the end of the class, and you could feel that terrible sad feeling and the question "why?".
We know that part of history but to visualize the drawing of a map of the Middle-East slapped your face once again. You understand that the problem is not the religion.
The teacher thought that education is the best weapon. I agree totally.

Jewish unity gathering, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

Jewish unity gathering, fake fur and Israeli flag, January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

This man was saying that the Jews aren't going to hide like during the WWII.
Behind him the kosher supermarket with the 3 letters broken.
We keep on standing up. The war is declared,
January 25th, 2015, Paris, ©emmarubinstein

I read the international press. I was upset by the writings of some people, Jew or not.
That's a indecent egocentrism! A little respect for those who died please.
Don't blame us, but support us!
For example, that's very difficult for Americans to understand that we are not used to live with weapons of war around us. That's unconstitutional.
They didn't understand that we closed some synagogues. Mine was one of them. Our system of security is efficient but not so efficient than in other countries. We protect the privacy of people by not putting cameras everywhere.

Thanks to all the people who sent me kind and warm words. Surprising words from people i barely know, i have never met, or i will meet in Israel very soon.
Next week, i am on the soil of the Holy Land for a total immersion of my lost neshama.

The wife of the rabbi asked me for writing a text about a parashat. I never did that. She is very efficient to convince you by her kindness and her availability to help you with Hebrew. I said yes very fast. Good exercise for me, and the Holy Land will probably inspire me.

We are ready to kick the tushes of terrorists but our fear is deep. But we know that we won't let them invade us and kill us like a piece of meat. We are waiting for them with a deaf fear.

A rabbi from our crowd came for davening.

The new cover of Charlie Hebdo is a new funny provocation: a drawing of the prophet with an image of a penis! Google it! For this week, they chose the color green. 3 millions of the newspapers will be printed.

No comments

Charlie Hebdo: terrorists attack, January 7th, 2015, ©Charlie Hebdo

*I am Charlie

Roman Vishniac

Last week i have been to the Musée d'art et d'histoire du Judaïsme (Museum of art and history of Judaism).
http://www.mahj.org/en/
I wanted to see the exhibition of photos by Roman Vishniac.

The courtyard of the Museum, December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Before, you walk through three rooms of the museum.
I have already been there a long time ago for that exhibition:
http://www.mahj.org/en/3_expositions/expo_passe_detail.php?niv=4&ssniv=9&annee_date=2007&expo_id=67

An old menorah, Museum of Art and History of Judaism, Paris 4,
December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Famous rabbis, Museum of Art and History of Judaism, Paris 4,
December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The exhibition is great: you follow the life of the photographer and the lives of the photos. The Jews were not allowed to be photographer. You can see some photos where he asked his daughter for being a sort of model to take the change of Berlin.

His photos are a real witness of the future tragedy of the Jewish people. The collection is huge.
From their apartment to a basement where they lived in a total poverty, from nearly everything to nothing, the loss of their own dignity…

Photo by Roman Vishniac, beautiful typography,
December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The most important is the message below. Thus, if you have survivors in your family, that will be awesome that they spend time to check the photos. Ver veys, they can find some people of their family and help the ICP for this work of archives. Spread the word!

Important message to the survivors of WWII,
December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Names plaques by the artist Christian Boltanski on an outside wall,
Museum of Art and History of Judaism, Paris 4,
December 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Batsheva Dance Company

It has been three years that i wasn't back in Paris for the holidays.
The last two years i spent Christmas on my bed, doing nothing, taking care of me, because i never liked celebrating those holidays.
My mom doesn't celebrate either in a religious way but in a table way: those days, she spends more time to eat all the things she want.
That's only a state of mind.

Usually, we like to go and watch a show.
We like the Palais de Chaillot where you have an amazing view on my beloved Eiffel Tower.
That theater offers good shows.

And yesterday, that was a good one.
We both like dance and Jews.
Thus, the Batsheva Dance Company was for us.

I only watched a trailer, and read nothing about them.
Before the show, i read the program and one thing caught my attention: Hasidism.
The show starts with all the dancers (men and women) wearing Lubavitch clothes and dancing frenetically until they start to undress. But one of them don't do it.
If you are familiar with the Hasidic culture, you understand that those Lubavitch are praying. I didn't catch all the gesture of their davening, but you understand the purpose.
The music is amazing, and some of you will recognize the Echad Mi Yohea, in a rock version.

Then, later, they are back. They go in the audience to drop some of it off on the stage and dance with them.
Yesterday, they only chose women with colored and flowers printed clothes. The youngest one was in her thirties, the other ones were in their 50s.
There were about 15 women on the stage.
My mom didn't understand the symbolic: Lubavitch men are not allowed to dance with women in public places. On the stage, they danced very tight, and they hugged.

These are some links with different interpretations of the opening scene, and one link with the entire show, a little different from what i have seen, but totally delightful!

They were in October at the BAM, Brooklyn.

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktlzJ9IDjwE&index=69&list=PL8XqDc3nQIenVC52gl2jU2Hs0JFTQBorV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7NTo4yiSIo&list=PL8XqDc3nQIenVC52gl2jU2Hs0JFTQBorV&index=70

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIeYHU7pEYc

Hanukkah miracles: falafel or bagel

You have understood that i am a real solivagant in this world.

There are women and there are men.

We are supposed to be with someone unique but you know how hard it is to find the best match ever.

We are supposed to be one

I learned from the rabbi who is teaching me Hebrew that it's written in a Hebrew word.

The word אהבה which means love is associated to a number.

א = 1

ה = 5

ב = 2

ה = 5

The total is 13 for a man and the same for a woman.

You add them together, you have 26.

26 is the letter Alef, א when you count graphically.

There are two Yod and one Vav.

And it's also the number 1. Love is one! 

Ah the miracle of love!

I enjoyed all these evenings organized by the Beth Lubavitch.

I didn't expect any miracles.

But i met an un-miracle.

I met a stalker. 

That was at the Eiffel Tower, and why me? :-)

He is a Sephardi Jew, not Hasidic.

He likes the Lubavitch community to enjoy free parties and meals.

That's one of the point that i don't want to hear.

The second point is that he lied.

He said that he was in sort of getting divorced, still having his wedding ring.

He was very persistent to have a coffee right now: no way.

Let me enjoy the Lubavitch party at the Eiffel Tower!

He didn't want to give me his phone number first, keeping the chance to call me first.

He asked me if i was Sephardic or Ashkenazic, blah blah blah…: Ashkenazic.

He offered me to go and eat a falafel after Shabbos.

We agree that after Shabbos means Saturday evening.

I have been clear with him that it will be better to meet later after Shabbos.

Do you offer to eat a falafel to a Ashkenazic? Man, i am a bagel woman!

He had to go, that was perfect and i wanted to enjoy that moment, without him.

He was not a tube of glue but a tube of super-glue.

Is it a mistake to give your real phone number? No.

The day after, once i powered on my phone, i already had 2 messages.

That was the falafel lunch! He is not Asian, thus he has notion of time.

Ten attempts to contact me during 3 hours. I muted my phone.

I never picked up his calls and replied to his texts.

He is worse than the Hasidic stalkers that i met.

I was disturbed because i didn't want to meet him yesterday for the last lighting of Hanukkah on the Opera place. I had to disguise myself to look anonymous. 

The luck that i had, was that it started at the same time that he finished to work.

I wanted to enjoy the last lighting as a solivagant.

I didn't bump into him.

I would like to go to a Lubavitch Shabbos meal on the Champs-Elysées, but now that he told me that he is going, i can't. That's frustrating. I can't actually go there, disguised myself, they will think that i am totally meshuga. :-) Or i can wait for Purim!

Yesterday, that was meshuga, and a few women danced in circle. Mazeltov girls, you rocked!

So enjoy the last one, and watch out with the psychopaths. :-)

I missed the candles. 

Someone can tell me if it is a sin to light them on sometimes please.

I like the last blessing which says that those candles can't be used for something else, only to look at them. They brought me shalom during one hour and half. 

That's how we took the Opéra, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Lights on, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Happy hirsute Hanukkah, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein 

The candles giver, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Place de l'Opéra, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Windy beard, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Telling secrets, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

The daveners facing the Opéra, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Magic Hanukkah: day 6

I had a class about Hanukkah two weeks ago.
There were my teacher, a rabbi and the rabbi's wife.
What are the two teachings of rabbi Chamaï and Hillel?
The first one made the choice to light all the candles the first night, the second one made the choice to add one candle each night of Hanukkah.
And you? Are you more a Chamaï-ist or a Hillel-ist?
Most of Jews follow the Hillel teaching.
I too chose Hillel.
One is going to the darkness in a certain way, the other is going to the light, thus to the sacral, the holiness.
According to physic laws, the light comes from the darkness.

Yesterday the Beth Lubavitch chose to light the menorah at the Eiffel Tower.
Why did they choose this place?
The Eiffel Tower is on the Champ-de-Mars where the Ecole Militaire is. That's where Alfred Dreyfus was degraded.
That was a big Jewish party with lots of VIP. Amongst them, the rabbi of France, the rabbi of the Consistories, the mayor of Paris, and the ambassador of Israel…
One rabbi told something very fair and important: despite all our woes, we never had grudge against the Egyptians, the Polish, the Germans… What Jews want is to do what they have to do and enjoy life which is a gift of Hashem. We don't forget, but we keep on having hope.

You can apply that to the current life. Have you noticed that people who are boring in their life, like bothering people who follow their road quietly? I have so many examples in my professional and personal life.

What impresses me is that the Jews never decided to go to war spontaneously. They waited for being attacked. The only thing which changed is, with the creation of Israel, they decided to defend themselves.
Many of them during the WWII could not believe that people were so horrible to exterminate them.
Some survivors explained to their family and friends to run away as fast as they could. Many Jews didn't believe them, and we know the end.
The trust in good was fatale. That's their hope in life. That's annoying for the others who want bad for us.

Now let's enjoy the Hasidic party!

Under La Grande Dame, under the dome, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Eiffel Tower and Menorah, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

The ecstasy of a sufganiyot, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein 

The licking of a sufganiyot, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Two rabbis and the love of a father, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein 

The menorah car drivers, December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Time for davening turning their back to Yerushalayim and looking at the Eiffel Tower,
December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein

Eating, what we call in French a "beard of daddy", December 2014/5775, ©emmarubinstein