surrounding by books and books…
books from La Pléiade…
have a good evening!
Monday, December 11, 2017
When an ex Hasidic is in town…
… my town, my city, Paris…
surrounding by books and books…
books from La Pléiade…
have a good evening!
surrounding by books and books…
books from La Pléiade…
have a good evening!
Friday, April 22, 2016
Shame on me for not writing more often
I would like to write more often but i am working on different projects at the same time, including my conversion.
That's a new organization in a new life. I am looking forward to Shabbes to have rest and to empty my mind. If i think too much, i work! I juggle with many things.
I try to find my place, a tiny place in the Jewish world.
The women i met at the shul are very nice and i actually enjoy sharing Shabbes meals with them.
I have met an awesome woman at my Lubavitch shul. She is not Lubavitch. She is Sephardi and she is fascinated by Hasidism. She doesn't know the reasons.She is a beautiful person with a kind soul.
She was the first one to talk to me at the shul the first time i came.
Since then, she invited many times for a Shabbos meal.
The first time, she invited me with two other young women from the shul: one is going for a conversion (she has no Jewish lineage at all), the second one is doing teshuva.
My host asked me so many questions about my adventures in the Hasidic world in Brooklyn.
I didn't think that they will be touched by my stories and they all have the impression to travel in those areas they don't know yet! I didn't say everything, a lot less than on this blog where i too don't write everything.
Then, we went back home with joy, enlightenment till we heard what happened that night at 7 places in Paris. It was the 13th of November.
That day is still there: trains which stop, streets shut down and other stuffs.
We know that it won't stop that year.
Anyway!
I am still following my courses at the shul.
To study the Talmud is such an exercise and our teacher can disturb some ladies who enjoy course with more pedagogy. His style is more mathematical and rock'n'roll.
I enjoy his Ashkenazi jokes.
He is like the lady of Shabbes invitation: they don't judge the way of other people, Jewish or not, live.
During the winter Shabbes, the kind woman organizes tea time on Shabbes afternoon before the end of Shabbes. Her daughter or other children talk about the parasha of the week. She tells us some stories.
I liked that shul. I am trying to find tiny places in Paris where i can feel what i felt in huge places in Brooklyn. I need a sort of Jewish comfort. Except the Lubavitcher, many Jews are hiding that they are Jewish. You don't introduce yourself as a Jew like you can do in New York.
With my friends of the other shul, we have lunches, parties, concerts and lots of laughs. We have our headquarter, it's a restaurant. The original restaurant is in Tel-Aviv, they opened one in Paris. The owner is always happy to see us because he wants people who eat and drink L'chaim.
That woman at my shul doesn't like gossips. She doesn't allow herself to talk about others. She gave me the reasons lately: if you gossip, you give your mitzvot to the person you are criticizing. I like her story. She is in her 40s. Her father passed away when she was 14. Her mother, that i like a lot, who is coming from a family of Moroccan tzadik, didn't want to see sadness in her house. She brought happiness and joy by inviting many people for their Shabbat. Her daughter was into religion compares to her sons. She becomes more tziniut year after year.
His husband is a funny man. They are a very good match. She got married late because she wanted to choose the one.
She told us that she has dreams and can see the future. Apparently, that works. That can be scary when it comes from someone else than myself. She had already dreamed of the husband of her daughter who is 10 years old.
My next post will be about a sofer. That was an awesome moment.
Pesach Kosher Vesameach!
That's a new organization in a new life. I am looking forward to Shabbes to have rest and to empty my mind. If i think too much, i work! I juggle with many things.
I try to find my place, a tiny place in the Jewish world.
 |
| Crown Heights, 2014, @emmarubinstein |
The women i met at the shul are very nice and i actually enjoy sharing Shabbes meals with them.
I have met an awesome woman at my Lubavitch shul. She is not Lubavitch. She is Sephardi and she is fascinated by Hasidism. She doesn't know the reasons.She is a beautiful person with a kind soul.
She was the first one to talk to me at the shul the first time i came.
Since then, she invited many times for a Shabbos meal.
The first time, she invited me with two other young women from the shul: one is going for a conversion (she has no Jewish lineage at all), the second one is doing teshuva.
My host asked me so many questions about my adventures in the Hasidic world in Brooklyn.
I didn't think that they will be touched by my stories and they all have the impression to travel in those areas they don't know yet! I didn't say everything, a lot less than on this blog where i too don't write everything.
Then, we went back home with joy, enlightenment till we heard what happened that night at 7 places in Paris. It was the 13th of November.
That day is still there: trains which stop, streets shut down and other stuffs.
We know that it won't stop that year.
Anyway!
 |
| Purim preparation, Paris 2016, @emmarubinstein |
I am still following my courses at the shul.
To study the Talmud is such an exercise and our teacher can disturb some ladies who enjoy course with more pedagogy. His style is more mathematical and rock'n'roll.
I enjoy his Ashkenazi jokes.
He is like the lady of Shabbes invitation: they don't judge the way of other people, Jewish or not, live.
During the winter Shabbes, the kind woman organizes tea time on Shabbes afternoon before the end of Shabbes. Her daughter or other children talk about the parasha of the week. She tells us some stories.
I liked that shul. I am trying to find tiny places in Paris where i can feel what i felt in huge places in Brooklyn. I need a sort of Jewish comfort. Except the Lubavitcher, many Jews are hiding that they are Jewish. You don't introduce yourself as a Jew like you can do in New York.
With my friends of the other shul, we have lunches, parties, concerts and lots of laughs. We have our headquarter, it's a restaurant. The original restaurant is in Tel-Aviv, they opened one in Paris. The owner is always happy to see us because he wants people who eat and drink L'chaim.
That woman at my shul doesn't like gossips. She doesn't allow herself to talk about others. She gave me the reasons lately: if you gossip, you give your mitzvot to the person you are criticizing. I like her story. She is in her 40s. Her father passed away when she was 14. Her mother, that i like a lot, who is coming from a family of Moroccan tzadik, didn't want to see sadness in her house. She brought happiness and joy by inviting many people for their Shabbat. Her daughter was into religion compares to her sons. She becomes more tziniut year after year.
His husband is a funny man. They are a very good match. She got married late because she wanted to choose the one.
 |
| Costumes and soldiers, paris, 2016, @emmarubinstein |
She told us that she has dreams and can see the future. Apparently, that works. That can be scary when it comes from someone else than myself. She had already dreamed of the husband of her daughter who is 10 years old.
My next post will be about a sofer. That was an awesome moment.
Pesach Kosher Vesameach!
Thursday, January 28, 2016
London Calling
I hardly posted lately.
I needed a break after my last long vacation last year in Israel.
I needed a Hasidic breath!
My shul is Lubavitch, only 3 Lubavitch families are there. The rest of us is coming from different Jewish background, more or less modest and shomer. I will talk about that in another post later.
New York is not in my project, thus i chose London, and also the area of Stoke Newington and Stamford Hill.
I read some information about that: Satmar is the first community, Belz the second, then Viznitz, Bobov, Gür, Skver and Lubavitch.
On Google Map, i screenshot the streets but i didn't want to see the street views.
I have been there for a day, leaving by one of the first Eurostar and coming back by the last one.
Unfortunately, that was a rainy day!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms6xbSCDw2Y
But i knew that my Hasidim will be out to go to the shul for davening!
I imagined an area like Williamsburg: 2 main streets with lots of Jewish stores.
The area is bigger than Williamsburg, i followed a Hasidic woman first and i lost her.
I can find my way as a solivagant and was very excited when i saw a black garb because i felt that i find a personal harmony and zenitude to see all of them.
I had the aim to find a Hasidic woman and to share a conversation with her. Many questions came to my mind. Will i find the soul of Williamsburg?
There were houses after houses, few Hasidim outside.
I saw a woman in the distance, and i had to talk to her.
I told her right away if she was Hasidic. She looked at me with her mouth agape.
I smiled and told her that i used to live in New York. I mentioned Williamsburg.
I added that i missed those areas a lot!
She was a Satmar, speaking a good English.
They speak Yiddish, not Hebrew.
The moment of grace was about Shabbes. "You should come back for Shabbes". After i asked her for visiting a shul. It was a weekday and shuls are not open for women. My curiosity to see bochurim was high. She gave me the name and the address of a hotel.
Finally, we had a stroll together. She wanted to show me where the Jewish stores were on this part of the area. She said that it will be full of men at this time.
We didn't have the same definition of a crowd. :-)
I wished i could find a bagel store. She was laughing: "That's not like in New York".
Everything is expensive in this area. I didn't have the time to ask her about the lives of the husbands: do they work, what was their main job, etc?
She has been once in New York for a wedding. She wished she could go back to see the Satmar rebbe grave.
She didn't have family in America, despite the huge Satmar families that we can encounter.
I found one of the main street with its bakery, butcher, shoes store called Lee Ave, small supermarket.
I enjoyed being in the bakery and look at all these Ashkenazi danishes that i can hardly find in Paris.
Paris should become more Ashkenazi!
Then, i have been in the toy store. When i was at the cashier, i had a delightful conversation with the salesman. He was a Belzer. He smiled bashfully at the beginning, then more talkative finally.
I felt the same amazement when they find someone who is interested by their life.
I told him that i left NY because i didn't feel well there but the European education from the Hasidic community helped me a lot to survive in this jungle where money is a pathology. Who can think that Hasidism was a mental and spiritual medicine for me?
In Williamsburg, despite the devotion that you can feel, you can also see a daily life with the many stores. You feel the speed of the city, they run to the shul.
In London, that's very quiet!
I bought some Jewish stuffs, some Ashkenazi danishes for my mother. I wanted her to taste them.
And i was ready to go to the other part of the road.
I met the same kind of stores. I asked a man in a supermarket for a Kosher restaurant.
They don't seem to go to restaurant. They don't have a café where you can sit. He looked at me very astonished.
I am very intrigued by their life. I will go back there more often to explore.
I felt very well and safe. Safe too because of the fear of the next attack we are waiting for now is inside us for a long time.
They seem unattainable, harmless and protected by Hashem. Because of that, i felt protected.
I needed a break after my last long vacation last year in Israel.
I needed a Hasidic breath!
 |
| Stoke Newington, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Stoke Newington, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
My shul is Lubavitch, only 3 Lubavitch families are there. The rest of us is coming from different Jewish background, more or less modest and shomer. I will talk about that in another post later.
New York is not in my project, thus i chose London, and also the area of Stoke Newington and Stamford Hill.
I read some information about that: Satmar is the first community, Belz the second, then Viznitz, Bobov, Gür, Skver and Lubavitch.
On Google Map, i screenshot the streets but i didn't want to see the street views.
I have been there for a day, leaving by one of the first Eurostar and coming back by the last one.
Unfortunately, that was a rainy day!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms6xbSCDw2Y
But i knew that my Hasidim will be out to go to the shul for davening!
 |
| Stoke Newington, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
The area is bigger than Williamsburg, i followed a Hasidic woman first and i lost her.
I can find my way as a solivagant and was very excited when i saw a black garb because i felt that i find a personal harmony and zenitude to see all of them.
 |
| Stoke Newington, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Black hat, Yiddish and Kosher bread, Stoke Newington, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
I had the aim to find a Hasidic woman and to share a conversation with her. Many questions came to my mind. Will i find the soul of Williamsburg?
There were houses after houses, few Hasidim outside.
I saw a woman in the distance, and i had to talk to her.
I told her right away if she was Hasidic. She looked at me with her mouth agape.
I smiled and told her that i used to live in New York. I mentioned Williamsburg.
I added that i missed those areas a lot!
She was a Satmar, speaking a good English.
They speak Yiddish, not Hebrew.
The moment of grace was about Shabbes. "You should come back for Shabbes". After i asked her for visiting a shul. It was a weekday and shuls are not open for women. My curiosity to see bochurim was high. She gave me the name and the address of a hotel.
Finally, we had a stroll together. She wanted to show me where the Jewish stores were on this part of the area. She said that it will be full of men at this time.
We didn't have the same definition of a crowd. :-)
I wished i could find a bagel store. She was laughing: "That's not like in New York".
Everything is expensive in this area. I didn't have the time to ask her about the lives of the husbands: do they work, what was their main job, etc?
She has been once in New York for a wedding. She wished she could go back to see the Satmar rebbe grave.
She didn't have family in America, despite the huge Satmar families that we can encounter.
I found one of the main street with its bakery, butcher, shoes store called Lee Ave, small supermarket.
 |
| Windy beard, Dusnmure Road, Stamford Hill, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Dusnmure Road, Stamford Hill, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
Paris should become more Ashkenazi!
Then, i have been in the toy store. When i was at the cashier, i had a delightful conversation with the salesman. He was a Belzer. He smiled bashfully at the beginning, then more talkative finally.
I felt the same amazement when they find someone who is interested by their life.
I told him that i left NY because i didn't feel well there but the European education from the Hasidic community helped me a lot to survive in this jungle where money is a pathology. Who can think that Hasidism was a mental and spiritual medicine for me?
In Williamsburg, despite the devotion that you can feel, you can also see a daily life with the many stores. You feel the speed of the city, they run to the shul.
In London, that's very quiet!
I bought some Jewish stuffs, some Ashkenazi danishes for my mother. I wanted her to taste them.
And i was ready to go to the other part of the road.
I met the same kind of stores. I asked a man in a supermarket for a Kosher restaurant.
They don't seem to go to restaurant. They don't have a café where you can sit. He looked at me very astonished.
I am very intrigued by their life. I will go back there more often to explore.
I felt very well and safe. Safe too because of the fear of the next attack we are waiting for now is inside us for a long time.
They seem unattainable, harmless and protected by Hashem. Because of that, i felt protected.
 |
| The redhead of the day, Dusnmure Road, Stamford Hill, London, January 2016, ©emmarubinstein |
Monday, November 16, 2015
A sunny and peaceful Sunday after the Paris attacks
 |
| November, 15th 2015 ©emmarubinstein |
They thanked me to make them travel with my Hasidic stories.
My friends were worried about me and were looking for me.
I used to live in this area that i enjoyed a lot.
Saturday was very quiet, but i was stressed : they are not military men since 2 Shabbos, and the shul has only very large unshielded windows. The government offered to pay 80% of the price for shielded windows. I wish they will change them.
On Sunday, after the cabin fever, i went to Ulpan classes.
With some of my friends we had planned to go to our favorite Kosher restaurant in Le Marais.
Many stores were closed during the weekend but the Jews decided not to be afraid, l'chaim!
 |
| November, 15th 2015 ©emmarubinstein |
Saturday, November 7, 2015
My first challot
Heard about the Shabbos Project ?
The idea comes from South Africa and now, the project is growing.
Last year, i heard a little about it in France.
This year, that was bigger.
The week of the Shabbos Project, some evenings are organized to learn how to bake a challah.
The women have 3 responsibilities: to light the candles, the bake the challah, to make food kosher (kashrut).
I never baked a challah, i bought it.
I was not available for the evenings, but an impromptu event happened: i abandoned one of my job at the break time. I gave my badge saying that i will never come back. I felt free! For Americans, it might be seen like something obvious, not in my country!
The other good news was that i was available finally for learning how to bake a challah.
Challah or a boring job?
My choice was made!
My girlfriends from my Torah, Hebrew, etc classes are back with me that year. I met some of them during all the summer, sharing meals and lots of laughs. We have our HQ restaurant, and we are making friend with the owner and some servers who know pretty well when we are there.
In that restaurant, you can share a table with other people. There are many tourists, thus a good occasion to practice my English.
It happened that my girlfriends were all there at the evening.
We were all at the same table.
There were 300 women. We have been welcomed so well.
A friend of mine has been at another challah evening the day before. I saw a photo of her and asked her why she was wearing a scarf on her head: "To avoid questions". Man! That's not a shame to have never been married.
I replied to her: "I want questions."
The ambiance was very funny. Everyone has her way to bake it.
When the paste is ready, women teach you how to braid the challah.
I didn't braid them but i looked at my friends.
To roll the paste is quite sensual. Look at your wife when she is making it, and let me know! :-)
The idea comes from South Africa and now, the project is growing.
Last year, i heard a little about it in France.
This year, that was bigger.
 |
| My red pot and those of my girlfriends, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| My red pot, gloves, flour, eggs, sugar, etc, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
The week of the Shabbos Project, some evenings are organized to learn how to bake a challah.
The women have 3 responsibilities: to light the candles, the bake the challah, to make food kosher (kashrut).
I never baked a challah, i bought it.
I was not available for the evenings, but an impromptu event happened: i abandoned one of my job at the break time. I gave my badge saying that i will never come back. I felt free! For Americans, it might be seen like something obvious, not in my country!
The other good news was that i was available finally for learning how to bake a challah.
Challah or a boring job?
My choice was made!
 |
| Teenagers having fun, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Teenagers having fun, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
My girlfriends from my Torah, Hebrew, etc classes are back with me that year. I met some of them during all the summer, sharing meals and lots of laughs. We have our HQ restaurant, and we are making friend with the owner and some servers who know pretty well when we are there.
In that restaurant, you can share a table with other people. There are many tourists, thus a good occasion to practice my English.
 |
| Teenagers having fun, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Teenagers having fun, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
It happened that my girlfriends were all there at the evening.
We were all at the same table.
There were 300 women. We have been welcomed so well.
A friend of mine has been at another challah evening the day before. I saw a photo of her and asked her why she was wearing a scarf on her head: "To avoid questions". Man! That's not a shame to have never been married.
I replied to her: "I want questions."
The ambiance was very funny. Everyone has her way to bake it.
When the paste is ready, women teach you how to braid the challah.
I didn't braid them but i looked at my friends.
To roll the paste is quite sensual. Look at your wife when she is making it, and let me know! :-)
 |
| My challah paste ready to go home, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| First challot round, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Second challot round, October 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Talmud study
I am back to Torah and Hebrew courses since two weeks now.
I made more time available to study the Mishnah and the Talmud.
I learnt, and you can laugh at me, that Moshe Rabbenu is Moses. I never thought that Moses could have a last name and he could have a biography. My mistake! :-)
I already heard that name but i thought that he was a great sage.
He was a former Egyptian prince and known as the authorship of the Torah. That made me intrigued totally because Egyptians and Jews are not a good match so far.
I enjoy the idea waking up every morning and to go to bed less stupid than in the morning.
I am not going to elaborate the Mishnah class. The teacher is nice and funny. He is a Lubaba. But it's more like a literal translation of the Mishnah we are studying. We can ask questions. I need more time to make a better opinion of this class.
I would like to talk about the Talmud class.
There are two teachers who teach that class.
I have been to a class about messianism taught by one of them. I stopped going because he has a big ego and he always talked about his wife. It bothered me a lot. I made some attempts to ask questions. Each time, he said that he will reply to me. He never did.
You can be a real fan of this teacher or not. There is no grey!
I chose the other one.
Last week, i was so excited by this class and also by the teacher.
He is a rabbi and a teacher, not surprising!
From a point of view of a woman or female, he is very attractive for me: tall and hair. He has something very elegant in the way he teaches. He is manly. I can't give him an age but maybe between 45 and 55.
And ashkenazi. :-)
Beyond the attraction i could have, the interaction he gives us during the class is awesome.
First thing, he said to us: "I want to be honest with you. I don't think that you will be able to study the Talmud at the end of the year."
The complexity of the Talmud and a lack of knowledge are the main reasons, but he is here to give us some clues and a way of understanding things.
I should say that he is a modern rabbi. He is often joking.
We are studying the Chapter 7 about Shabbos and the sacrifices.
I was not really enthusiastic to the idea of studying sacrifices of animals as you know.
I feel useful when i am following this class.
He talked about the intimacy of the Talmud study. The transmission is the main thing.
The difference between the study of the Torah and the study in secular school is that there is no beginning in the study of the Torah. Everything has the same value. That's disturbing.
There is a distinction between obligations and interdictions. For Kippur, there is no interdictions of not eating, but it said: "You will mortify yourself".
365 interdictions, and 2 obligations : circumcision and Pessah sacrifice.
Now, imagine the classroom. All the women around the rabbi.
You can talk at anytime, that's an open discussion.
But if you reply "Yes" or "No", you have to argue. He is a great listener. You can ask him lots of questions. he will take the time to reply to you. If he doesn't know nothing, he will tell us.
He makes us think and he makes himself think with our questions.
That's how i see useful education.
I made more time available to study the Mishnah and the Talmud.
I learnt, and you can laugh at me, that Moshe Rabbenu is Moses. I never thought that Moses could have a last name and he could have a biography. My mistake! :-)
I already heard that name but i thought that he was a great sage.
He was a former Egyptian prince and known as the authorship of the Torah. That made me intrigued totally because Egyptians and Jews are not a good match so far.
 |
| Before Sukkot, Paris 19ème, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
 |
| Before Sukkot, Paris 19ème, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
I enjoy the idea waking up every morning and to go to bed less stupid than in the morning.
I am not going to elaborate the Mishnah class. The teacher is nice and funny. He is a Lubaba. But it's more like a literal translation of the Mishnah we are studying. We can ask questions. I need more time to make a better opinion of this class.
I would like to talk about the Talmud class.
There are two teachers who teach that class.
I have been to a class about messianism taught by one of them. I stopped going because he has a big ego and he always talked about his wife. It bothered me a lot. I made some attempts to ask questions. Each time, he said that he will reply to me. He never did.
You can be a real fan of this teacher or not. There is no grey!
 |
| Father and daughter, before Sukkot, Paris 19ème, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
I chose the other one.
Last week, i was so excited by this class and also by the teacher.
He is a rabbi and a teacher, not surprising!
From a point of view of a woman or female, he is very attractive for me: tall and hair. He has something very elegant in the way he teaches. He is manly. I can't give him an age but maybe between 45 and 55.
And ashkenazi. :-)
Beyond the attraction i could have, the interaction he gives us during the class is awesome.
First thing, he said to us: "I want to be honest with you. I don't think that you will be able to study the Talmud at the end of the year."
The complexity of the Talmud and a lack of knowledge are the main reasons, but he is here to give us some clues and a way of understanding things.
I should say that he is a modern rabbi. He is often joking.
We are studying the Chapter 7 about Shabbos and the sacrifices.
I was not really enthusiastic to the idea of studying sacrifices of animals as you know.
I feel useful when i am following this class.
He talked about the intimacy of the Talmud study. The transmission is the main thing.
The difference between the study of the Torah and the study in secular school is that there is no beginning in the study of the Torah. Everything has the same value. That's disturbing.
There is a distinction between obligations and interdictions. For Kippur, there is no interdictions of not eating, but it said: "You will mortify yourself".
365 interdictions, and 2 obligations : circumcision and Pessah sacrifice.
Now, imagine the classroom. All the women around the rabbi.
You can talk at anytime, that's an open discussion.
But if you reply "Yes" or "No", you have to argue. He is a great listener. You can ask him lots of questions. he will take the time to reply to you. If he doesn't know nothing, he will tell us.
He makes us think and he makes himself think with our questions.
That's how i see useful education.
 |
| Before Sukkot, rue des Rosiers, Paris 4ème, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
Monday, September 21, 2015
Rosh Hashanah 5776 and first Shabbos of the year
I spent the two days of Rosh Hashanah at the shul.
I felt a sort of need of re-connection of the French Jews with their roots.
Maybe the events of last January made them be aware of being a Jew is like something which belongs to us and not to the other people.
I have met other women that i haven't met the first time.
I was completely lost with the Rosh Hashanah book. The rebbetzin told us to stand up when the shofar will be blown and when there was the Torah opened "in the air".
I had issues to remain focused on my book because of the noise of the conversations of women between them or with their children.
I often heard the rebbetzin saying: "shhhhh".
For me, what was important is the joy to be altogether, and only the joy, the love of life which characterizes the Jewish people the most. To stand up for your nation whatever it happens.
I saw that i was not the only one lost in the pages. Some Jews came because it was important to be there.
The best moment for me was a thing that i have never done. I heard about it the last years and my unconsciousness kept it somewhere in my brain like something only symbolic.
I don't like following the crowd but to follow a Jewish crowd is for a good reason. :-)
On the first evening of Rosh Hashanah, we had a new meeting at the shul around 6:30 pm for the tashlikh.
On my way to the shul, a man recognized me. He lives in the building at the opposite of mine.
He is like the superintendent of the shul.
I told him that i started the process of a conversion and i was lost with the prayers. It's hard for him to follow sometimes. The women told me that i will become less ignorant than them because i will learn properly how to be a Jew.
I told him that i was happy to have found a nice and open-minded rabbi.
We had to hear the shofar before strolling to the river, the Seine.
On the path of the tashlikh, i had a delightful conversion with an old Jewish French lady who had pain in her feet. She was with her son, i supposed. I didn't ask.
She lives in Washington. I told her that i used to live in NY and i didn't like it. She doesn't like the obsessional relationship of the Americans with money. I didn't have time to ask for more details about her American life because she met a shomer man and i went to the river to throw my sins into the water. I didn't know how to shake the corner of my clothes. I had a quick look at the other prayers. I found some tiny stones to throw finally, because i thought that we will make the symbolic gesture of throwing our sins into the water.
I noticed something else: when i read a prayer, it takes time for the women and for me, it's always shorter. Thus i don't know if i read the prayer too fast or if things are missing.
That will be a question for my future teacher.
During the Rosh Hashanah service, a soldier came inside the shul with his gun. He wanted to go to the bathroom.
He had to cross the men section, and some freaked out like it was a terrorist attack. I felt once again that the Jews are victims but don't behave like victims because of their love of life, and also they are not attackers. Some women shouted: "He wants to use the bathroom" to calm down their men when we felt the tension. That was a scary moment. The "never forget" was on and the "things can happen again" too was on.
On Saturday morning, during the kiddush i had the chance to talk with the young woman who is going to a process of a conversion.
She received the same letter from the Consistory. She wondered if the Consistory actually read the letter we have sent. She was prepared because she had a friend who had received the same letter.
I don't know the reasons for what she decided to become a Jew. She told me that first, she found a shul where she didn't feel welcome. She asked the ladies which page of the siddur they were reading and, she felt that she was disturbing them.
Then, thanks to a friend of her, she found our shul, and she loved it. That's a small community and everyone is helpful, and to help someone is a mitzvah.
The conversion process is different from a person to another one.
But the most important thing is to feel comfortable with your community and your rabbi.
During her first appointment at the Consistory they tried to make her give up.
She lives far away from our shul but she has a friend where she can sleep during Shabbos and holidays.
At 6:30 pm, we had a course by the rebbetzin about Kippur: meaning, preparations for the fast and customs. "Don't eat too salty and no garlic either!", she said.
I think that i will drink two liters of water and eat fruits before fasting. She said that we can't brush our teeth and can put some deodorant. Kippur is the Shabbos of the Shabbos. I am obsessed with cleanliness and will put lot of deodorant before shutting down everything.
I enjoyed the way she gave her the Kippur course.
Many women didn't know the customs, and sometimes, i felt more Jewish than them, without arrogance. Some were more interested by knowing if the brand of their snickers was without leather than the course.
If you don't know what to wear : Converse sneakers and like my Hasidic from Brooklyn: Crocs. :-)
She told a true story about a little boy who has been raised by a non Jewish family, the governor of the city who was a close friend to his father. His parents passed away. He knew that he was a Jew because of children in his school.
His parents told him the truth, and he tried to understand what it was to be a Jew.
His father left him a box with a tefillin, a tallit and a book. He went to a small village where Jews were living. It was erev yom Kippur, and all the Jews were in a rush.
He found an old man who told him that he was a Jew but he didn't have the time to talk more.
The little boy came back the day after, the day of Kippur.
He went to the synagogue with his pack. He saw the men wearing tallit, he did the same.
And i forgot the end of the story. Thus, if anyone knows it, thanks for telling me.
I had tears in my eyes and i had to hide them because you don't cry on Shabbos.
I saw myself with my interrogations when i was a child.
I felt a sort of need of re-connection of the French Jews with their roots.
Maybe the events of last January made them be aware of being a Jew is like something which belongs to us and not to the other people.
I have met other women that i haven't met the first time.
I was completely lost with the Rosh Hashanah book. The rebbetzin told us to stand up when the shofar will be blown and when there was the Torah opened "in the air".
I had issues to remain focused on my book because of the noise of the conversations of women between them or with their children.
I often heard the rebbetzin saying: "shhhhh".
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| Rue des Rosiers, Paris, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
I saw that i was not the only one lost in the pages. Some Jews came because it was important to be there.
The best moment for me was a thing that i have never done. I heard about it the last years and my unconsciousness kept it somewhere in my brain like something only symbolic.
I don't like following the crowd but to follow a Jewish crowd is for a good reason. :-)
On the first evening of Rosh Hashanah, we had a new meeting at the shul around 6:30 pm for the tashlikh.
On my way to the shul, a man recognized me. He lives in the building at the opposite of mine.
He is like the superintendent of the shul.
I told him that i started the process of a conversion and i was lost with the prayers. It's hard for him to follow sometimes. The women told me that i will become less ignorant than them because i will learn properly how to be a Jew.
I told him that i was happy to have found a nice and open-minded rabbi.
 |
| Stamps in the Moleskine store, Rue des Rosiers, Paris, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
We had to hear the shofar before strolling to the river, the Seine.
On the path of the tashlikh, i had a delightful conversion with an old Jewish French lady who had pain in her feet. She was with her son, i supposed. I didn't ask.
She lives in Washington. I told her that i used to live in NY and i didn't like it. She doesn't like the obsessional relationship of the Americans with money. I didn't have time to ask for more details about her American life because she met a shomer man and i went to the river to throw my sins into the water. I didn't know how to shake the corner of my clothes. I had a quick look at the other prayers. I found some tiny stones to throw finally, because i thought that we will make the symbolic gesture of throwing our sins into the water.
I noticed something else: when i read a prayer, it takes time for the women and for me, it's always shorter. Thus i don't know if i read the prayer too fast or if things are missing.
That will be a question for my future teacher.
During the Rosh Hashanah service, a soldier came inside the shul with his gun. He wanted to go to the bathroom.
He had to cross the men section, and some freaked out like it was a terrorist attack. I felt once again that the Jews are victims but don't behave like victims because of their love of life, and also they are not attackers. Some women shouted: "He wants to use the bathroom" to calm down their men when we felt the tension. That was a scary moment. The "never forget" was on and the "things can happen again" too was on.
 |
| Rue des Rosiers, Paris, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
She received the same letter from the Consistory. She wondered if the Consistory actually read the letter we have sent. She was prepared because she had a friend who had received the same letter.
I don't know the reasons for what she decided to become a Jew. She told me that first, she found a shul where she didn't feel welcome. She asked the ladies which page of the siddur they were reading and, she felt that she was disturbing them.
Then, thanks to a friend of her, she found our shul, and she loved it. That's a small community and everyone is helpful, and to help someone is a mitzvah.
The conversion process is different from a person to another one.
But the most important thing is to feel comfortable with your community and your rabbi.
During her first appointment at the Consistory they tried to make her give up.
She lives far away from our shul but she has a friend where she can sleep during Shabbos and holidays.
At 6:30 pm, we had a course by the rebbetzin about Kippur: meaning, preparations for the fast and customs. "Don't eat too salty and no garlic either!", she said.
I think that i will drink two liters of water and eat fruits before fasting. She said that we can't brush our teeth and can put some deodorant. Kippur is the Shabbos of the Shabbos. I am obsessed with cleanliness and will put lot of deodorant before shutting down everything.
I enjoyed the way she gave her the Kippur course.
Many women didn't know the customs, and sometimes, i felt more Jewish than them, without arrogance. Some were more interested by knowing if the brand of their snickers was without leather than the course.
If you don't know what to wear : Converse sneakers and like my Hasidic from Brooklyn: Crocs. :-)
She told a true story about a little boy who has been raised by a non Jewish family, the governor of the city who was a close friend to his father. His parents passed away. He knew that he was a Jew because of children in his school.
His parents told him the truth, and he tried to understand what it was to be a Jew.
His father left him a box with a tefillin, a tallit and a book. He went to a small village where Jews were living. It was erev yom Kippur, and all the Jews were in a rush.
He found an old man who told him that he was a Jew but he didn't have the time to talk more.
The little boy came back the day after, the day of Kippur.
He went to the synagogue with his pack. He saw the men wearing tallit, he did the same.
And i forgot the end of the story. Thus, if anyone knows it, thanks for telling me.
I had tears in my eyes and i had to hide them because you don't cry on Shabbos.
I saw myself with my interrogations when i was a child.
 |
| Books and beard, Paris, 2015, ©emmarubinstein |
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