Erev Rosh Hashanah

I am in Paris, and the weather is nice.
I enjoyed seeing the Parisians at the terrace, eating, drinking, taking their time with this joie de vivre.
I feel very fine, and also free finally.
The trip was stressful with my Yiddish cat, suffering during the flight.

Tired peyos, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Mother and son, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

My last image of Crown Heights was amazing.
The boss of my Russian Jewish mother offered me to drop me off at the airport. He had to pick up his brother.
We were on Eastern Parkway, after 770, and suddenly, big lights on it.
Many Lubabas were there. We thought that it was a protest.
And then, i saw it.
The chicken of the Kaparot Ceremony.
I wanted to take photos but, the sacrifice of animals in the name of religion or not, makes me vomit.
But this image of a Lubaba holding the chicken in his hands above his head was the best photo ever, only for my mind.

Hasidic women with white tichel for Rosh Hashanah, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Running rascal, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I watched nearly the entire movie, Fading Gigolo by John Turturro. I wanted to see it when i was in NY, and there it was available during my flight. Vanessa Paradis is playing a Hasidic woman. Before commenting it, i will try to see it again. To play a Hasidic character is very particular. I haven't been convinced so far. She plays a Satmar and she has very long hair under her sheitel!
Even if a Hasidic woman remains a woman, they have a way of walking, wearing their clothes, talking… Their English is better than many men, but Yiddish is missing in this movie.
This movie is a comedy, that might explain it all!
None Hasidic during the flight, i saw one Jewish man wearing a kippah.
Maybe my neighbor behind me was Jewish, he had a likeness with my father and half-brother. Ouch!

Hasidim versus hipster, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The rascals, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Let's come back to Erev Rosh Hashanah.
I was invited by G., the Jewish man who dislikes Hasidim and also the Lubabas. He has a dog, Jewish, and it feels the same way.
Once, the dog attacked my pony tail wildly, thinking that it was a peyos. I had a weird haircut. :-)

There was his girlfriend and other friends of him.
They never organized a real dinner since they are in this apartment.
G. is very social and has met his friends in streets, shops, offices… We all lived in Crown Heights.

Very thick peyos, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

A Yiddish cow lost in tranlation, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Amongst the guests, there was a couple. G. called him rabbi, maybe he was. He was 76 years old. He used to work many years for a Jewish theater. He came with his girlfriend, a Haitian woman, probably younger, and also catholic.
G. met this man in Target. I imagine the scene. :-)
This man met his girlfriend in the park, probably Prospect Park.
He saw her so miserable, thus he has to do something. He saved her life, and then she is caring for him. She didn't want him to drink too much alcohol. She is very shy.
We spoke a little in French, but her French is different. Haitian mix French with creole, thus the construction of the sentences is different. Sometimes, there is no verbs, and the creole is a language that i don't understand. I know a few expressions, that's all.

In a rush, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Thinking, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I knew that i won't be disappointed, because G. will be an extravert that night.
All the times, he called the man "rabbi".
They were like old buddies, joking, laughing…
I assisted to a Jewish show.
G. started with the Rosh Hashanah blessing, and the rabbi blessed the challah.

I ate a few of everything, that was enough to make me sick the day after.
The food was good. G. is a good cook.

Then, the show between these two men.
They love the eskimo kissing, so they did it, laughing like two kids.
They sang Hatikva, the national anthem of Israel, mixed with other Jewish songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r2M8ply_l0
They danced together.
I was bursting out laugh.

Loud and intense conversation in Yiddish, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Funny conversation in Yiddish, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

G. looked at me and the Haitian lady, and teased us because we remained quiet. Kidding!
How to talk with two men on a stage?
I like G. a lot because he always asks questions instead of stating clichés.
He teased me with Hasidim. He actually thinks that i want to be one of them.
I tease him to drive him crazy when i say that i am going to 770 or on Kingston Ave.
He refused to watch the short video i made about a Chabad putting the tefillin on a Jewish man in the subway.

The Satmar Beatles, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Cute smiling rascal, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The rabbi likes to make entrance and offstage.
His last entrance was very moving.
He had tears in his eyes, because he actually enjoyed this meal and loves G. and his girlfriend a lot.
G. and the rabbi looked like father and son.
G. lost his father a long time ago, and the rabbi lost his son 8 years ago.
He seems very affected by this event.
Their connexion was deep in a kind of fatherhood.
I was very surprised to see so many emotions in NY suddenly.

Waiting, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Rosh Hashanah II - part II

Once i left Willy, i went back in Crown Heights for the question of the day.
No one asked for it in Willy. :-(

Father and son, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

My beloved Pupa shul, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The Lubaba were everywhere asking people.

I expected to avoid "Are you Jewish?".

I bumped into one group first, but that was not the good moment for me. I have to print my flight ticket.
Procrastination makes me run, and multitask.

The man who cleaned the street, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein 

The man who cleaned the street, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein 

Once done, i was free to enjoy all these men.

3 men came to me.
One child, one in his early 20s, and a man in his 60s maybe.
They might have seen the Magen David.
"Did you hear the shofar today?"
How i loved that question!
"No."
That was them today that i wanted on my shofar-ic path.
And then, in the middle of an hipsters street, Franklin Ave, i repeated the blessing that he said.
And the old man blew the shofar.

Father and son, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Street conversation, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein 

Smoker and pigeons, Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Behind me, i noticed a black woman, probably too coy to join us. I liked the way she stood, looking at us. The hipsters ignore us for my biggest pleasure.
The little boy was shy, and didn't dare to smile.
The young man asked for my first name. And my accent betrayed me.
He used to study in Brunoy, where there is a famous yeshivah. He was surprised that i know this place.
He was so happy to speak French, but i switched in English because of his two co-shofar-er.

The most delightful moment was the big smile of the old man. Usually, the old generation avoids my look. I want to talk to them so much because of their long life story. And i tried so many times.
He blew the shofar a long time. Such a breath he had!

Voilà !
Last post from Brooklyn!
I killed my back by packing my stuffs.
My chumash and Magen David will travel in my cabin bag. And my poor cat is already terrified.

Holy conversation, holding their tallit, with different shtreimel,
Williamsburg, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Other last stories happened in Brooklyn before leaving, written from Paris, BH! :-)

Rosh Hashanah II

That day, He sent me two big signs.
I should say one big holy gift to start.
The second sign was in accordance with a test of my emotions.

I took the B62, and i stopped in Williamsburg when i felt that it might be a good stop.

I turned in Hooper street, and i heard voices of men.
That was the Kehilas Yetev Lev D'Satmar.

Man going to pray in the Satmar shul, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Apparently, there are two buildings.
My adrenaline was very high, and i walked fast, forgetting that i was a woman. That was His call.
I had to see that, before leaving NY.
This shul has a total capacity of 7,000 people. Imagine 7,000 Satmarers there for the afternoon prayer.
I had never seen these gorgeous tallits with silver.

Satmar shul, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Satmar shul, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Their prayer was different from the one of 770.
Despite they say the prayer like a song, they didn't actually sing. That was joyful.
I caught their attention, i was totally focused on them and the sound of the shul.
I had enough time to take two photos of the inside through the small window, before the Shabbos boy arrives with a Satmerer.
Spank, spank on my tushes!
No, no, they were nice. They were scared that i came inside and disturbed the prayer.
The Satmerer was not very friendly, but when i asked him if it was a Bobov, Pupa or Satmar shul, he changed his tone.
He understood that i was not just a troublemaker, though… But i have a deep interest, and felt that i was moved, and i was melting on the sidewalk.

The Satmarer davening outside, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The Shabbos boy told me that i could go to the women section. I didn't want to go, i had a pocket book and lot of cash. Eh oui ! :-)
I was surrounded by children and ladies too looked at me.
I said to the Satmerer and the Shabbos boy that i will stay a little to listen to the prayer.
They only asked me for not taking photos.
A child stared at me, i smiled, but he thought that i came from another planet.
That was my first time that i met an official Shabbos boy. I was pretty jealous of his job.
He said to me that he works for them everyday. Not sure that he has understood my questions. He didn't seem interested by this culture. "Give me your job!", I wanted to scream.

Cutie rascals, i want them all, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Then, i left for a stroll in the deserted Williamsburg.
I had questions about the strollers that the ladies were pushing. I thought that it was forbidden for Rosh Hashanah. I asked a lady. She explained me the rules.

Hasidim from different sects according to their hat,
September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I went back to the street of the Satmar shul. I wanted to see them getting out of the shul. But it lasted more than i expected. I was thinking of this prayer during my long stroll which made me cry a little.

Two rascals in Hooper street, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I went to the Pupa shul where i used to go for Simchas Torah. The sukka was not built yet. I arrived when the ladies went out after the afternoon prayer.

I walked a lot, wandering in streets.

Father and son, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I want your tallit, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Williamsburg during high Holy Days,
September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I met a meshuga man who decided to clean the sidewalk and pushed dirty packs with his cane. He didn't notice that i was looking at him, taking photos. A Hasidic man saw him and he barely smiled when i smiled at him. I felt that he wanted to laugh.
I will post his photo later, and if someone can let me know which sect he is from, please. Thanks!

I followed these Belzer men because they were singing,
September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Satmarer, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I walked to the bus stop, and i waited a long time, taking photos of Hasidim who passed by.

Father and son, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Hasidim, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Most of the time, when i take photos, i try to be discreet. People are not stupid, i know.
During Rosh Hashanah, i am the only one with my phone in my hand.
I take photos without looking at them.

And then…

With a friend, we used to say about men wearing any kind of hats, that it is better to see who is hiding under their hat. Some men have a beautiful face with their hat. When they take it off, you may see another personality. 

As you know, i met many Satmerers, and i never bumped into one of them so far.

Maybe some of them saw me. I don't try to catch their attention in the streets.

But it had to happen.

During these three years, i met two jerks, two evil persons: one Lubaba and one Satmerer.

I am not going to share what happened with them, but He sent me these two persons on my road a last time.

The Satmerer asked me for not taking photos of him ever. I never did it.

I never saw him with the black grab and shtreimel indeed.

Usually, i am not a good physiognomist, but i remember some details of the person.

At this bus stop, i took photos of two men and two children.

One of the man looked at me intensively. Fortunately, i had sunglasses.

I saw his eyes, especially one, and i saw the fear in it.

That lasted less than one second, and i realized that i saw the devilish brain under this shtreimel.

That's very hard to explain because my emotions were very high. I followed him with my eyes. 

His way of walking and talking to his friend was quiet. That seemed different than when i used to hang out with him.

Later, in the bus, i checked the photos that i took of him.

That made me confused.

When i woke up the day after, i recognized him.

I will never post his photos. That's for my drawer for secrets. I respect his anonymity, despite what he did to me. What will it bring to me to take revenge? Nothing.

But, that was a good test! Maybe his punishment was at this second, when i recognized him, to have fear in his eyes and to think that i could get him into troubles by screaming his name… Whatever…

I feel sorry for this kind of bad persons with a life so stressful, and he has to live like a schizophrenic with all his lies. They are not even able to apologize sincerely!

The holy bus

These last days, i spend time with numbers: 770.
And the last one is 110.
What's that?
The B110.

Those who are not familiar with the Hasidic community, it's a bus, mainly for Hasidim.
The B110 belongs to a private company. It goes from Williamsburg to Boro Park and likewise in the opposite way.
It's an old bus. It's different from the Ohel bus: there are more peyos men.

My beloved rascals, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Three men in the wind, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I asked a woman at the stop if the bus was working all day. I scared her apparently. Or she didn't speak English.
I waited for it silently.
There it was! I closed my jacket, i didn't have a cleavage. But you could see my skin.

Two men from different sects shaking hands, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

A yellow alien, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Bouquet on the shoulder, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The driver that day, was a Chinese man. He doesn't touch the money. You can't use your Metrocard, thus you pay $3, one way.
On my way back from Boro Park, the Chinese driver was connected to the radio, and replied to a man in Chinese. Some Chinese people speak very loud. He was speaking very loud. I didn't pay attention at the beginning. I thought it was a Hasidic who was talking on the phone in Yiddish. But the Chinese man couldn't stop speaking. Nobody asked him to shut up. I felt that the ones who were reading their holy book was irritated a little. They seem to get used to this driver.
Do you know this Yiddish joke?
"Mr. Cohen was amazed as the Chinese waiter in the kosher restaurant took his order in perfect Yiddish. At the end of the meal, he went over to the owner and asked him: "How did you ever get a Chinaman so dedicated to his job that he was willing to learn Yiddish?" "Sha!," answers the boss, "he thinks we're teaching him English."

Bochurim in B110, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

The women knew that i was not Hasidic. I was wearing black clothes but my hair and the way i dress betrayed me. They saw me sometimes taking photos.

Woman praying in B110, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Another beloved rascal, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

Curling the peyos is an art, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

There are a few stops in Willy, then we took the highway. The bus was packed, for my biggest pleasure. All these peyos drove me crazy. I don't talk about my hormones, though!
A bochur stared at me many times. He was not scared of being seen. Me either! I wanted to smile at him, but if he smiles back, he might be into troubles.

I felt like in a shul. Some women were praying, talking to each other, or on the phone, eating… But i felt the holiness better than in 770.
Nobody asked me for tzedaka like in 770.
A first woman who sat besides me was praying.
I listened to the silence of Hashem.
The second one was with her baby. She was very cold, and i didn't feel her happy.

I took this bus, not knowing where my stop will be. I felt so well that i can stay all day in that bus.
When the woman saw me looking for the direction, she offered me her help. She smiled finally. She was probably tired with the baby. We went down at the same stop.

I spent time in Boro Park, in the Judaica store, looking at the books. They have a good choice of different Jewish subjects.

On my way back, the bus was less packed, so i could move on my two seats to take photos.

I felt disconnected of New York.
I imagined me in Yerushalayim.
I was smiling, when drivers on the highway look at the bus coming from hasidic outer space.

I like being where i can't be. You don't understand? I like being surrounded by a culture that i enjoy learning, knowing that i can't be one of them, i.e. Hasidic. Only Orthodox!
They don't bother me. I can bother them by taking photos.
Most of the time i don't know exactly what i take in photo. That's Hashem surprise.
I took many photos that day, but i post a few today.
Some from before i took the B110, then the bus.
In the next weeks, i will post the other ones from Boro Park and Willy again.

Shana Tova! 3 days without showering for you! :-)
I can hug you tonight, and maybe tomorrow morning.
Friday and Saturday, i will need oxygen. :-)
Love you guys, and Shana Tova! :-)

Honey peyos on Big Apple, september 2014, ©emmarubinstein

French Sephardi woman

I didn't want to spend too much time at 770 that day, last week, but i bumped into the Sephardi woman. I didn't recognize her. I think she changed her sheitel.
But she recognized me, and talked to me in French. Oups!

A Lubaba helped his brother to put the tefillin in the subway,
that was beautiful and magic! September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

She insisted once again a lot with my researches of my Jewish roots of my mother.
When i told her that my mom cooked latke recently, (we call them crique in French. She said: "She is Jewish."
She wanted me to buy a prayer book for my mother when i told her that she was not religious.
I am stubborn, but my mother is headstrong, i gave up some battles with her.
You can talk about Jewish things and Jewish men with my mom, but it's out of question to make her religious.

A little nap before the meshuganess of the High Holy Days,
September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

She had a bad experience with the Catholic church during the war. She hates priests and nuns.
She doesn't understand that, if there is a G-d, why this world is so in pain.
I could recommend her the book of my favorite rabbi, but she doesn't speak English.
I will lose this battle once again. :-)
After a certain age, there is no need to waste my time to convince her.
Let's cook Jewish, listen to Jewish music, and looking at hairy men…

Buddies on the hectic Eastern Parkway, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

This Sephardi woman is married to a Baal Teshuva. She likes the Viztnitz more than the Satmar. She lives in Montsey. She recommended me a book Suite Française. I saw that a movie has been made by Americans last year. I will read the book first.

The Satmarers that she knows don't want to listen to Matisyahu. They want to listen to traditional Yiddish music.
She has been for a Shabbos in a Satmar family in Willy. They asked her to wear a frisette with her sheitel. :-)

VIP, September 2014, ©emmarubinstein

I think that she is a BT too.

She gave me the name of his brother, rabbi, who lives in Israel. He is Orthodox but not Hasidic.
And the phone number of a matchmaker.
I think that my suitcase is full for my next future: rabbis, rebbetzin, matchmaker… Who else who wants to be on my list? :-)
My heart is big, there will be room for everyone who is nice before and after Yom Kippur. :-)

If you have seen the face of this woman when she talked about her love of Shabbos. That was awesome!

She introduced me to her daughter. Her French is not as good as her mother.
I think that it's a first time that i don't feel this sort of snag when you say that you are not 100% Jewish.
The way that some Jews spit on the Goyte hurts me a lot.
We always need a Goyte, or someone different from us.
A Shabbos boy for example.
I don't know how i will confirm my Jewishness soon, but i will make a promise to myself and according to the 9th Commandment and the mitzvot, to not spit on Goyte and on secular Jews. Ex Goyte who spit on Goyte are the most detestable persons.
Never deny where you come from, and who you were before becoming Jewish or BT!
For your remembrance:

Treatment of Gentiles

53. To love the stranger..
54. Not to wrong the stranger in speech.
55. Not to wrong the stranger in buying or selling.
56. Not to intermarry with gentiles.
57. To exact the debt of an alien.
58. To lend to an alien at interest.

Her daughter is in her twenties. She explained me that Jewish or not, Jewish neshama or not, we all have a mission on this earth. She said that i will find my mission in the Commandments.
She gave me a card with the seven commandments of Noah. I will find my mission on that card. :-)

I liked her maturity to see me first like a human being, who likes Orthodoxy, and my Jewish roots.
She has understood that i come to the shul not to laugh at people.
I admit, not to her, that some situation give me the giggles sometimes, but that's the same for you when you see meshuga gentiles situations.
She also said something very interesting: you can feel Jewish, but to be Jewish is more than a feeling. That's to follow the commandments, and to understand them.
When you read them, i understand that they are the basis of how to have a decent behavior and how to act properly with the other human beings.
That's funny that there are laws or commandments when you think that it should be obvious for anyone.
But when you look at this world, there are people who don't understand the price of a human life, for example.

Have you noticed that, each time, you leave a place, you meet the best persons? That always happened to me. And with some of them who crossed my road, i am still in touch with. Crazy world! We know who drives this world. :-)
He wants me to leave NY with a good image. :-)
The French Sephardi would have been a perfect 'coach' for me. I am totally lost with the prayers to say.
At 770, there are in Hebrew, but i could follow them if i know which page of book i have to read.
That will be one of the next steps on my path in Paris and Israel.
Women and some men see that i take photos. I try to be discreet and natural when i move my phone, but they are not stupid. :-)

For this Shemittah year, be nice with the Gentiles, and nicer with the ones who like your religion and culture. :-)

'Master and servant', in reference to a song by Depepche Mode,
September 2014, ©emmarubinstein