The "Shtisel" series & "Felix and Meira"

Where did my heart go to?
The Shtisel family or the Felix and Meira?

The first one indeed!
First, the difference comes from the background of the directors.
Shtisel is an Israeli series by Jewish filmmakers, and Felix and Meira is a Canadian movie by a non Jewish filmmaker.

I observed the details with a lot of attention as you know.

Paris Le Marais on a Sunday afternoon, August 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Felix and Meira by Maxime Giroux
Some of my French friends recommended me too. They liked it. And i understood why now.
I can't say that i dislike it but i felt that something missed.
There are mistakes in the observance of the religion.
I read the credits thinking hopefully that it was based on a true story. But not! I don't forget that it's a movie of 105 minutes, not a documentary.
All the scenes have been shot during a winter and the story lasts that winter: short time for that kind of story. Someone who wants to leave the community will take more time in the time space and in the psychological space. The Jewishness will inhabits them a long time.

I read an interview of the filmmaker on a French website.
He said that he was more in the observation side than in the speech. According to him, and i believe him for that, Canadians from Québec are more into unspoken words than into thoughts and speech.
I found that with the New Yorkers too. And i could not adapt myself to that culture.
That's hard to criticize what we call in anthropology, the cultural relativism. Thus you take it or leave it.
You already know my decision.

I needed to see something more psychological with answers to my eternal questions.
And it missed something Jewish too.
The filmmaker added that his bias came from Felix, the goy. He had a sort of naivety. He saw him like a hipster. I saw him like a loser. His life is empty, he has no passions, no emotions, nobody to take care of.
She seems like an entertainment in his empty life for him. He is not mean with her fortunately.
I wished that his patience with her will help him to understand himself and why he can be attracted to someone who is at the opposite of himself.

The filmmaker said that he was scared of failing the Jewish observance scenes until the last minute. He chose an actor who left the community. I knew him, not personally, but because one day, a Hasidic sent me photos of him, pretending that he was him. He was gross and vulgar, and disappeared after i threw him away.
He added that the movie by John Turturro was not well prepared. I agreed about the lack of Hasidic culture in that movie.

There is something shallow which can talk to anyone who never found interest in Hasidic culture and i don't blame it for that.
There is something that i like at the end of the movie: her relationship with her wig. You can see the gap between us, and what's next? No answers.
To leave someone who you didn't communicate with, to go with someone who don't communicate ever  can be a good choice if you don't want to think… Most of Hasidim that i have met were looking for a non emotional relationship and didn't want to talk about the pain to be
The "non-shomer-ization" or how to learn to touch someone of the opposite sex without thinking of something sexual. How do you accept to show your body to others…? All those points that i wanted to see.

One take off shoe, Paris Le Marais on a Sunday afternoon, August 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Shitsel by Alon Zingman
12 episodes and i am looking forward to seeing a season 2.
The action takes place in Yerushalayim in an ultra-Orthodox family where the eldest son, Akiva, wants to get married with someone he loves. He accepts the game of the arranged marriage and meets young women. He falls in love with an older woman who is a widow twice. A series with humor, especially with the grand-mother who finds out TV and its American soap series. She felt compassion for the characters and forgets to read her psalms.
Akiva's father is an old bitter and selfish man. His selfishness hurts people and he doesn't see it, except with his son.
What it's shown is the difference of generations and the way to see love like something needed for Akiva and something non essential for his father. His wife was there to take care of him and his stomach. He is shown like someone asexual, where the food takes the place of the food.
He is gross with the ladies. He can't catch signs of love coming from someone else. The ladies remain polite and don't dare to confront him.
The other characters that i liked a lot are Akiva's sister, her husband and her daughter. That's not only the relationship to the religion but how to talk about your pain to be in a relation that you don't want anymore. Ultra-Orthodox always thinks that Hashem and the representatives like the rabbis can help. In this case, they close the wife in denial. Her husband asks for communication as a liberation of his sins. His daughter is a rebel and she doesn't have enough experience of life to understand what her father has done. His father will put words on his pain in a very moving scene in his daughter's room.

I am writing my letter for a demand for a conversion in France. It has to be a handwritten letter and i like having pain in my hand. I would like to be a little mouse to read all the conversion letters that the Consistory receives.
Sometimes, friends can surprise me. My mother talked to a friend about my desire to get converted and told her that i was learning Hebrew. She is not Jewish, but she found that so great and was not surprised at all by me. I felt that my mom too was surprised that someone who is not my mother was more supportive than her. :-)

Shul, rue Pavée, Paris Le Marais on a Sunday afternoon, August 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Siyum

That was my first one and i am proud of celebrating it with my classmates.

Our Torah teacher told us that a rabbi (i forgot his name) took each Hebrew letters of Siyum and put numbers like that:
סמ = ך
י = וד
ו = ו
ם = ם

In numerical value, they are equal which means that what we have learnt (on the right), we have the same to learn (on the left). The study is infinite. That too is a lesson of humility.
That rabbi didn't like siyum. Siyum means end and new beginning.
When you study the Torah, you understand that very well. All the things one teacher can tell you during one hour and half about one verse of the Holy Book.

We were all sad to stop following classes till October 12th for the beginning of the a new year of study. That's too long. I decided to have discipline and to study my Hebrew.
We will organize some lunches all together and, to hang out if there are Lubavitch things to do.

The siyum was like a class where we can eat and drink. It was mixed, men and women.
Texts have been read about a study of each class, except the Hebrew and Ulpan classes.
The beautiful surprise was to find out that our rabbi of these two last classes is an excellent singer who gave me goose bumps. He is Sephardi and sang Ashkenazi songs from Alsace.
That was so beautiful!
I post the videos without mentioning his name.
You can see on his face all the kindness of this man. He was so patient with us.

In parallel, i have a job which takes me time. I dislike it a lot because i felt useful to the humanity. I need to be useful in my life without pretending that i will change the world. I don't believe that we can change people, but we have to do with what they are. The importance is to be selective and to be surrounded by the people who gave you good energy and good vibes.

I have been aware that i started the project of being close to our cousins, the descendants of Ishmael, son of Abraham.
There are many muslims where i work, younger than me. The ones i prefer are two sisters, early 20s who are wearing veil (not at work, French law doesn't allow it). We didn't have the chance to talk about religion so far but we talk as human beings first.
Not to be in the deny of acts against Jews, i have the certitude once again that the medias are causing huge damages by not saying the truth. They are putting oil on the fire.

I recently met an editor for French TV and we totally agree about what we see on Tv, is very bad for the humanity. And unfortunately the majority is like veals (De Gaulles dixit). That's a comfort maybe to think that the world is described on TV without wondering what is true or bad.
He agreed with the education of history of religions, and he added that we need classes of medias, how it actually works.
The last example is with the referendum in Greece last week-end.

There are many young men from Kabylia, North of Algeria. Some are following the Ramadan, some not. Some are atheists, some not.
One of them, 26 years old, is like a little brother for me. He asks me questions about relationships with women. He felt lonely, and he is spending his time to chat up all the girls. "He makes me busy." I push him to do something better in his life. He knows that i will get to convert and, he doesn't care who i am religiously.
One day, he talked about the French colonization and what the French did to his people. I told him that my family hasn't been involved in such acts. Members of my family died in camps, that shut up his mouth. I understand what he can feel.

I didn't feel hatred against Jews. I came with the desire to take the temperature of the young Muslim generations. I didn't express who i am to many of them. We have to talk as human beings. Then, if i tell them and they react badly, that will be an argument to talk about.
What we are living is a daily life not a religious life…

My favorite one, singing about Yerushalayim gives me goose bumps.

I don't feel alone

I am writing this post on my way to the sea to work for a movie.
Who cares? Except that i received a sign, as a person. A Hasidic man was in the subway car wearing his yarmulke and his tzitzit without fear.
I starred at him. He thought that i was meshuga probably.
I forgot to smile at him, and to express my joy to see him.

Ulpan class in the gym room of the shul, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

In my Hebrew and Torah classes, there is a nice lady in her early 60s, M.
It clicked to my mind that i might not be the only one who was not "stamped" Jew.
I never heard anyone talking about their own story.
Concerning M., I wondered sometimes if she was a converted or not, but i never asked her.
Her husband is Jewish. What i felt is that she seemed to be a new observant.
She said something about her rabbi like he was severe. And she didn't want to miss a Shabbos service.

And one week ago, it happened that she told us. I forgot how it came in the conversation.
There was another young lady in her 30s. She was very surprised. She is from South America and she is a Jew from birth.
That could be the occasion to say about me, but i shut up my mouth.
That's not a lie but that's totally personal.

Wedding at the shul, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I congratulated M. who decided recently to go to the conversion process.

Our current teacher was not there.

M. is used to drop her off because she is an old lady.

She offered me to drop me off because i was sick that day.

On our way to her car, i told her that i will be a converted too.

The reason that i didn't tell it so far is because of the reactions like we have done something bad.

M. doesn't care about that. 

She told me her story.

When she was 16, she met her husband, he was 17.

She is married with him since about 40 years.

She is shomer now, and once she will get converted, she will get re married to the shul.

She tried to understand why she was attracted to the Jewish culture.

She made researches with her husband, she found out nothing about her family connected to a Jewish story.

She has two children, none of them want to get converted. They all celebrated the Jewish holidays.

Her son had his bar mitzvah in a Reform shul.

That's weird for me to hear about Reform shul in France, and i didn't think that we were able to have a bar or bat mitzvah if you are not a Jew.

Shul, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I asked her how the family of her husband reacted when they decided to get married 40 years ago.
That was not easy but after some times, they have understood that love was stronger than everything.
What makes her go to a conversion after all those years?
Her acquaintances and friends thought that she was Jewish and she felt guilty to lie in a certain way.

Shul, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

In our class, there is someone else who wants to get converted. M. told me that she doesn't hide it but i never heard her to voice it out.
I don't actually like this person. She has something arrogant and tries to attract the attention.
I have big issues with egocentrism. :-)
M. doesn't know her story. She is closer to her than me.

Kids enjoy playing instead of sitting and watching the wedding, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I didn't have the occasion to talk to the woman who reacted weirdly when M. told her that she will be a converted.
M. told me that the Jewish women at her shul, warned her not to do it. "Have you seen what is happening to our people?"
But now, for M., it's like an obviousness.

The consistory told her that it will take one year. She doesn't actually know when her rabbi will accept to get converted her.
She takes her time, and she told me to do the same.
I haven't started the process officially because i am a between-woman.
I am thinking of doing it in France. It will take time to immigrate in Israel. 

Lag B'omer 5775

The only ones who are able to organize big Lag B'omer in Paris are the Lubavitch.
I checked it on one of their website and i found something interesting to do.
The place was great and i knew it before.
I used to take a bus crossing their area when i was living in Paris to go the physiotherapist.
I was intrigued by that school and i looked at them each time, fascinating as usual: what was going on behind those walls?
There i was inside.
But not alone that time.

The rabbi who served us vodka, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I invited an atheist friend.
I met him in Brooklyn, in my work place.
He was there for vacation.
He is a friend of one of my neighbors of my ex work place.
A friendly alchemy was immediate. We talked about our life like old friend.
He is spontaneous, and an impromptu party occurred.

A couple eating hamburger, pizza and French fries, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Let's dance, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Then, we stayed in touch through social network.
He doesn't live in Paris, but he comes sometimes and more often lately.

We are on the same page: no expectations from anyone, we live our life, we travel, we are very sensitive…
He was married during many years till a misunderstanding made him find out that he was gay… He has three children.
We don't like losers or people who don't assume who they are. We love our freedom.
We don't judge each other… We don't care about what people think of what we are, how we dress…

Fire-eater, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Fire-eater, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I only told him that if my Jewish people ask questions, to tell them that he has Jews in his family.
We were not going to this place to tell our life.

He is from Madagascar and he has been adopted with two other children from other countries, by a white French family.
He only likes white men. His friends told him that he is racist. "How can i be racist when i have a black skin?". No comment! :-)

Bonfire, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

 Bonfire, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Anyway, i thought that he could be a great friend to come with me to a Lag B'omer.
To arrive to a place and to see soldiers still scares me. And to see so many children, and to think that a crazy guy can come and shoot all of us gave me goose bumps.

He enjoyed the place and the "party". He knows nothing about Judaism, and it was nice to explain things to him.
He asked me for a long time to come in Israel with me.
He was surprised to see families with so many kids.
He was the exotic person, and i was something strange because i was having words in his ears.
I felt the looks but i didn't pay attention. My joy was huge to have a bath of black hats.
One Lubavitch man said hello and asked me "how are you?". I didn't know this man but i replied to him. Weird! :-)

Leaving the dance-floor,  Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

 Hasidic transe dance, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Hasidic transe dance, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Compares to the bonfires in Brooklyn, in Kyrias Joel or Mea She'arim, the Parisian bonfire seems very small. But to see men dancing and be happy with a pious grace makes me feel happy. I didn't ask for more.
My friend was very comfortable. We ate there. He didn't want to dance with the men, still bashful.
We bought candles to fire in homage of the rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai. I helped a Lubavitch man to fire his candles. That was a windy night.
We stayed for a while.

Taking his ladies in photo, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Then, we went to the bus station where we met an old Jew, a cutie.
He talked to my friend: "I saw you in the school."
My friend: "I had Jews in my family."
I was laughing to see them talking like old wise men.
The man added: "Do you know the tribe of Shem?"
My friend: "Yes!"
The old man: "There were black people from that tribe."
My friend told me later that he had understood nothing about the old man was talking about. So funny!
We all took the bus. My friend helped the old man with his shopping trolley.
He said that he will stop one stop before us but finally went down at the same stop.
My friend helped him again with his shopping trolley.
We talked with him a little. And the cutest moment was when he offered me to give me eggs. I was surprised, and i refused. We left him and he was talking to himself: "I know that i am kind."

Hasidic shadows, Paris 18ème, May 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Chez Jonathan

That could be a place to be but that was the Sunday place to be after 3 hours of Oulpan with our delightful rabbi.
He is so patient with us. Sometimes, i am ashamed that we are bad Talmudim*.
The other Sunday, my brain was in a cloud. I enjoy reading a lot, and also reading the book All Who Go Do Not Return in the subway. The subway car rocks me and to read makes me in a sleeping state when i receive fresh air getting out of the subway station.

View from Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

I am not still able to read Hebrew without vowels, but that state of brain helped me last Sunday.

One Sunday, 4 of us decided to have a lunch in a Kosher restaurant in Paris, near by our shul.
Chez Jonathan, that's the name of the place. I have never been in that one, but some around.
There are less and less Kosher places in Paris sadly. Great place in a touristic street but the locals come here.
The name is the one of the son of the owner. He was there with his wife.
I had so much fun with the father that i called Papa. His father told me lately that his son is lazy. :-)
They are Sephardi, and the ladies who were lunching with me too are. They were more introverted than me. They probably thought that i was meshuga to be so familiar with Papa.

The place seems to be an old fish store. That's a classified one.

Ceramics, Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Ceramics and pushka, Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Then the visit of a Lubavitch with his tefillin, who helped a man who just came back running in the streets.

Sweat pants and tefillin, Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

And French romanticism with an Orthodox couple very cute.
Papa yelled kindly at him when he came to pay: "Let your wife drink her coffee, you have time to pay."

The romantic couple, Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

Papa guessed that i was not very serious with my studies. I have a real lack of time lately. I am doing too many things in the same time. My head will explode soon.

Server and barista, Chez Jonathan, Paris 9, 2015, ©emmarubinstein

*students

A honorable Muslim French woman

Maybe you heard about her, maybe not…

How can you live after the death of your son, killed by a terrorist?
His son was the first victim of the terrorist.
He was a soldier in the French army and was probably considered like a apostate by the killer.
I don't want to give the name of the terrorist, that gives him too much importance.
The dramatic event happened in Toulouse in 2012, thus you can Google it and find what i am talking about.

Her "job" is to give a message of peace in schools, and to try to make connections between the three monotheist religions… People from different races, religions, etc can live together… Something is possible.
She probably finds with the French youth something that she has lost with the death of her son. She is grieving for the rest of her life.


She has been recently in Israel with young people between the age of 9 and 19 years old, of different religions: they have been in Yerushalayim and Ramallah.
A Shabbat was organized in a family whose the wife was pregnant. She cooked for 30 people.
This is the link of the video of an interview of this woman, and two of the teenagers…
Sorry, it's in French. :-)
http://www.i24news.tv/fr/tv/revoir/i24newsfr/4199787582001
They were amazed by what Shabbat is.
Those teenagers have understood one thing: what it is shown on TV is not the reality. Thanks!
They are probably addicted to TV like most of the French teenagers.
They have a mission now: they are the new ambassadors of a sort of truth that Jews and Arabs can build a world together. Hopefully, they will read the Torah, the New Testament and the Koran.

Is there a feminine word for tzadik? She deserves that title.

Thanks Madame Latifa Ibn Ziaten for your message of peace…

Turn off your TV and travel…

Lost in pious thoughts, Mea She'arim, Yerushalayim, January 2015, ©emmarubinstein

The Shtisel

I haven't watched this series yet, but they speak Hebrew and a perfect Litvak Yiddish…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nxm5ZNCcIsQ&list=PL8XqDc3nQIenVC52gl2jU2Hs0JFTQBorV&index=82

I had the impression to know all those faces in the trailer.
Check it out!

Jaffa Gate, Yerushalayim, January 2015, ©emmarubinstein